dropstitch

it's not my fault - see the boss!

2012-01-29T13:59:00.000Z

On Friday it was Graham's birthday, that time of year when I illustrate a scene from Gregory's Girl to turn into a birthday card for him. This year I had planned to go with, "Don't touch the ravioli, it's garbage," but there wasn't a great image to use at that point in the film so instead I went with, "It's not my fault. See the boss," something we say a lot in our household, always in a high-pitched voice. It was quite a challenge to create this in between feeding the ever hungry Dulcie, but I managed to have it completed by the afternoon of the birthday itself. I totally failed to get a present to go with it but used the baby as an excuse (it's not my fault, see the boss!) and was forgiven immediately.

I've shared these cards from previous years before, but here they are again.

This time next year I will have four Gregory's Girl cards and might consider getting them printed to sell as notecard sets... but frankly, who would buy them? I have a terrible habit of paying lots of money to get way too many copies of things printed professionally, only to have them taking up space in a box somewhere never to be bought and it seems a waste/mega expensive just to get a handful printed. I know the error of my ways but will probably not be able to resist doing it anyway.

Talking of making to sell, I'm hoping to get my act together and get back to doing that soon. My etsy shop has been closed since Dulcie's untimely arrival and as of this week the one bricks-and-mortar establishment to sell my wares (the lovely Made In The Shade Maisonette) has closed down. I'm very sad about that. Carrie and Clare are total pros when it comes to selling indie-type handmade items to the unsuspecting public so I had the satisfaction (and money) of selling a fair amount of goodies every month without having to network or keep on top of admin from selling in multiple shops. I had it too easy. I've spotted a few local shops that I think certain of my items would look at home in but I'm not sure I have the mental energy to organise it all plus I am a bit shy at the thought of making that initial introduction. I also enjoyed the pace of crafting for pleasure in 2011 and am not sure I want to run the risk of getting into a situation where I'm crafting to order (most likely the same items again and again and again) and spending more time keeping on top of admin than I am making stuff. But selling is so temptingly satisfying... Occasional market stalls are probably the best way to go but I am a bit out of the loop on that front now and do stress myself out trying to make enough stock to fill the shelves of Asda as oppose to a six foot table with the result that I end up adding more and more to those boxes of stock that I'd really like to get rid of. Hmm, tricky. I don't think I'll ever find the perfect balance or be able to answer this question. I'm sure I have asked it many times.

stresss (with a treble s)

2012-01-25T22:13:00.000Z

An oldish picture of Dulcie from her (first!) stay in hospital taken just before Christmas. I only realised recently I had never shared it and her burpy faced is too good to keep under wraps.

What a start to the day we had today. Dulcie decided not to go to bed until 3.30am (her favourite new hobby) so when she started shouting for food again at about 7am, I did the bad mother routine and opted to spend just one more minute with my eyes shut and the covers over my head. So you can imagine that I felt pretty bad when I went to get her and found her lying in a pool of blood, albeit looking happy and hungry. Well, long story short we jumped in a taxi to the A&E department at the children's hospital and they checked her out thoroughly and concluded that the blood was not hers but mine. The antibiotics Dulcie was given when she had pneumonia caused her to get thrush in her mouth which spread to my, er, milk jugs. Not much fun, let me tell you. We've been getting treatment for it (I actually have a daily timetable of when to administer our many and varied medications) but feeding has been agony for me lately. Little did I know, though, that the pain was being accompanied by spurts of blood mixing in with the milk and I have to admit that knowing about it makes the pain feel even worse. Poor Dulcie is having to try to digest all this blood along with her milk and it is really none too pleasant whatever end it comes out of. She's been pooping and puking up blood all day. We've been told not to worry about it so we're not, but it is very bizarre to calmly mop blood from your tiny baby's mouth. I hope I heal up soon (ouch, ouch, ouch!) but with Dulcie still feeding every couple of hours this seems like a distant dream. Sigh... Our modest family goal is to stay out of hospital for the whole of February. That's not too much to ask, is it?

On a more positive note, Dulcie got weighed at the hospital this morning and is 6lbs 8oz! Wowsers! She was 3lbs 12oz at birth and 5lbs 3oz when we took her home from hospital at the end of December so, considering she had to fast during Pneumonia Gate, she has come on great guns. All that blood she's eating is obviously doing her good!

craftathon 2011 - the year in review

2012-01-24T17:55:00.002Z

You might remember my New Year post from last year where, instead of making any resolutions, I launched Craftathon 2011, a list of crafts I wanted to try my hand at over the course of the year. Some of them were new to me, some were crafts I already dabbled in quite regularly and some were things I had dabbled in previously but not for a long time. From the outset this list was designed to inject a bit of fun and variety into my crafty time, which was becoming a little stale and repetitive. I stated clearly (I have it in writing, people!) that I wouldn't give myself a hard time if I didn't get through all these crafts in a year. Hmm, just as well.

Below is the original Craftathon 2011 list. I'm going to work my way through it and share my successes and failures then evaluate my craftathon performance as a whole and share my crafty aspirations for 2012.

CRAFTATHON 2011!

1. Quilling

2. Lace making

3. Macrame

4. Weaving

5. Sew at least one item of clothing

6. Lino printing

7. Gocco printing

8. Embroidery

9. Make a zine (I was meant to do this in 2010, but failed)

10. Pin and thread pictures

11. Make a rug

12. Crochet

13. Paper cutting/collage

14. Needle felting

15. Learn to use Illustrator

16. Stop-motion animation

1 - QUILLING

I did indeed dabble in quilling, very much inspired by the work of Yulia Brodskaya, as you can see. Quilling is a craft I am certain I wouldn't have got round to trying if it wasn't for the Craftathon 2011 list. I really enjoyed this little project and found it quite therapeutic. Unfortunately, I had horrific morning sickness while I was working on this and developed some sort of weird association where I felt sick every time I looked at this (actually feeling a little queasy even looking at that photo!) so the project got sidelined. However, I would still count quilling as a Craftathon 2011 success and it's definitely a craft I would like to explore further.

2 - LACE MAKING

This didn't happen and I'm a bit sad about that. My old lace-making kit (basically some bobbins and a big polystyrene "pillow") stayed firmly in its relatively inaccessible spot and gathered a bit more dust. Making lace does prey on my mind quite often, so hopefully that will turn into action at some point.

3 - MACRAME

My real macrame goal for the year (in my head) was to make my vintage macrame owl wall hanging/pot holder thingummy. Well, I took that out of the packet and read the instructions (progress?!) but I got stuck with the very first knot I needed to do and haven't quite figured it out to this day. So no macrame owl. Yet.

But I did dabble in macrame during 2011, making the above with trimmings from the ripple blanket and thinking it had given me a brilliant idea, which led me to make...

... this macrame BFF pin. I thought this was genius but nobody batted an eyelid at it when I shared it on my blog or in my etsy shop. Actually, I think one person did favourite it on etsy, but that's more of an eyelid flutter than a bat. I had already decided not to make any more BFF pins unless I came up with a genius new technique anyway. It was almost impossible to hide the ends on this brooch, it took ages and was fiddly and painful to do and the finished result was not really as polished as it had been in my imagination. But a failed product does not mean a failed Craftathon 2011 item, so I'll be generous and class macrame as a success but will add a note to myself that I must try harder and get that pesky owl knotted up once and for all. And we won't mention that I did way more macrame in 2010 when I wasn't even trying to.

4 - WEAVING

This brooch was the sole outcome of any weaving in 2011. I sent it to a friend for her birthday but she never mentioned receiving it so either she didn't like it much or it got lost in the post. I think I had optimistically imagined that I would have invested in a full-size loom and be designing my own range of textiles by the end of the year, so this is a very modest dabble in the art of over and under by comparison. However, it was a dabble that might not have happened without the Craftathon 2011 list and will be recorded as another success. I would have woven my mum's Christmas present if I hadn't ended up in hospital for the last two months of the year, so I'm sure I will return to weaving again at some point.

5 - SEW AT LEAST ONE ITEM OF CLOTHING

Total Craftathon 2011 fail. I spent most of the year growing and shrinking, but I probably wouldn't have achieved this even without the pregnancy excuse. I had thought about making some sort of maternity item but wasn't sure it would be worth it. Given that my pregnancy got cut so short, it was probably a good decision not to! I can't see myself sewing my own outfits this year but perhaps I will try to follow a pattern and sew up some outfits for Dulcie. I think that would be a good starting point.

6 - LINO PRINTING

I thought about lino printing a lot but didn't really have any great ideas so never got started on anything. I did come up with an idea eventually (inspired by my own Big Daddy lino print from a few years back) but failed to make it materialise. Lino printing is something I haven't tried in ages and it's something I really want to get better at so I am a bit annoyed at myself that yet another year slipped by. Craftathon 2011 fail... but my fingers are grateful (and intact) for it.

7 - GOCCO PRINTING

For the sake of my unborn baby I decided Gocco printing would not be a good idea in 2011. Dulcie has ten fingers and ten toes as a result, which has got to be worth another Craftathon 2011 fail. Hopefully I'll get back on the Gocco horse this year, I just need to come up with an amazing design... No pressure!

8 - EMBROIDERY

Can you believe I did no embroidery in 2011?! I can hardly believe it myself (was there a little stitchy afternoon that I've just forgotten about?) but I think it's true. Again, this would have been very different if it wasn't for spending November and December in hospital as I had planned embroidered Christmas presents for Graham and for my sister. I think embroidery could actually have been a casualty of Craftathon 2011 (something I would have done more of without the list - I think other crafts took embroidery's place) but at least that means I spent the year doing something different and my needles and threads haven't gone anywhere so I can always pick them up again this year. I have been planning an embroidery project just this week in fact.

9 - MAKE A ZINE

Gah! Total Craftathon 2011 fail, doubly annoying since I had failed to make a zine in 2010 too. You know what? I just didn't have any good ideas. Maybe I'm just not a zine-maker but I will still live in hope that inspiration will strike one day. Watch this space... but not too closely!

10 - PIN AND THREAD PICTURES

Fail! I am self-flagellating as I type. Bad, bad me! I even have a book about pin and thread pictures and I don't think I so much as opened it for inspiration.

11- MAKE A RUG

Fail! This has been a bad stretch in the list, hasn't it? My excuse for not making a rug was that I couldn't think of a design that I would actually want in my house. I did spend quite a lot of time pondering this problem. I might use Dulcie as an excuse to make a rug in the future. Once she has her own room I could make a rug for it (and a pin and thread picture?!) with her name or some suitably girly image.

12 - CROCHET

From humble and frustrating beginnings...

...I persevered and mastered ripply treble crochet, resulting in...

... the ripple blanket, my proudest crafty achievement of the year and a handmade item that I love and use on a daily basis. Yay!

Crochet has to be the biggest success story of Craftathon 2011. Just look at all the things I made!

Egg cosies for Easter.

These were quick and fun to make. I gave them to my nieces and nephew.

I learned to make granny squares and these became a blanket that Dulcie used while she was in hospital (she stuck out like a sore thumb among all the other cots with their pastel shades!) and still uses in her bed now.

I made three cardigans like this.

They were my first attempt at following a proper crochet pattern and turned out very well, if I do say so myself. I'm still waiting patiently for Dulcie to grow into them.

And there were actually a few more crochet projects not pictured. My crochet success story makes me very happy and definitely fulfilled one of the stated aims of Craftathon 2011, which was that some of the crafts would take on a life of their own and become long-term hobbies or something that I would become good at. I think I will be a life-long crocheter now and am happy to have a new crafty skill under my belt. I love the act of crochet itself and love the finished projects too. Win, win, win.

13 - PAPER CUTTING/COLLAGE

Total fail and I have no excuse for this. It would have been so easy to just spend a couple of hours with my box of random papers and a pair of scissors, but I didn't. I'm still seeing papery art that inspires me (like this by Kim Welling, spotted just today, and the pictures in this post by Sarah Dyer, spotted just yesterday) so I hope I'll be able to experiment with this at some point in the not too distant future.

14 - NEEDLE FELTING

Fail. I didn't do any needle felting. I never have, maybe I never will. I did have a brilliant needly-felty idea but it was very ambitious and I didn't really know where to start. I don't think needle felting would be the best craft for my temperamental hands so maybe I'll never do it, but I know that idea of mine will niggle away at me, so who knows?

15 - LEARN TO USE ILLUSTRATOR

Well, I still don't really know how to use Illustrator properly, but I now have a book as a point of reference (thanks to a tip from Marceline) and I did actually use Illustrator in some of my instructional illustrations in my DIY zip flower brooch kits. So there's still a lot of work to be done here and I don't think I could count it as a Craftathon 2011 success, but it certainly wasn't a fail either.

16 - STOP-MOTION ANIMATION

Look away now if you suffer from epilepsy or migraines!

I didn't make the stop-motion film that I was fantasising about, but I did dabble a bit with stop-motion animation of sorts, making a few simple illustratory animations for my blog.

I created this to show my many and varied feelings towards my new glasses.

I made this to show off a new product (pinwheel brooch refill squares) in my shop...

... and continued my advertising genius (didn't sell a single acorn brooch in my etsy shop all year - ha!) with these dancing acorns.

And the piece de resistance...

The ripple blanket in all its glorious stages of (in)completion!

I wouldn't say I achieved everything I wanted with stop-motion animation and I am still itching to create something magical (like this or this) but in the spirit of being kind to myself I will count this as another Craftathon 2011 success.

And so concludes my review of Craftathon 2011. It maybe wasn't quite the extravaganza I had imagined but it was still a great thing to do with positive results and given all the things that went on in 2011 (the best and worst year of my life) I think I did a fair amount of crafting.

Is anybody still reading this? Well done if you are! Enough of the past, let's look to the future! So, 2012, huh? My crafty plans for this year are a little bit less ambitious than last year's, but are exciting nonetheless. As well as keeping the Craftathon 2011 list in the back of my mind somewhere, my crafty plan for this year is to complete some projects from my vintage craft book collection. I'm not going to set myself any numerical targets, but if I'm looking for an idea for a handmade gift then I'm going to look to my bookshelves. And I'll be sure to share those projects (as well as overviews of the best of the books) here.

Do you have any crafty plans for this year?

smiling in the face of adversity!

2012-01-20T19:16:00.004Z

It's 7pm and I am still in my pyjamas. I have had around 15 hours' sleep since Sunday morning and it is beginning to take its toll. I thought keeping my pyjamas on today might encourage me to go back to bed at some point but it hasn't happened somehow. I promise to get dressed tomorrow.

Our little family have been having a crappy old time of it. The long and the short of it is that Dulcie and I caught a cold despite all our anti-germ strategies. This caused a bit of a sniffle and a sore throat for me but managed to cause pneumonia for Dulcie. Yep, pneumonia. So we've been back in hospital, with Dulcie scaring the bejeesus out of everyone by trying out a new trick of not breathing while she was sleeping. She ended up back on oxygen and a drip, with a feeding tube going into her nose, looking worse than she had weeks and weeks back and I was worried we would never get her home again. We are back home again now though and on the mend, thank goodness, but I'm sure you can imagine that it has not been a fun time for any of us. Staying on a children's ward with a poorly baby who cries all night and keeps the other sick children awake is horrific. Horrific, I tell you! Hopefully Dulcie continues to behave and will stay at home with us from now on. I have had more than enough of hospitals to last a lifetime.

I hope this post doesn't sound like a big moan-fest. It is my second attempt and the shortened version. I'm sure everyone is sick of my baby woes by now but this blog is kind of my diary too. I will aim to blog about something not connected to babies over the weekend and hopefully that will kickstart my mojo for blogging and for life in general.

whatever happened to ben the boffin?

2012-01-14T22:50:00.003Z

I saw a clip of Zig and Zag on TV tonight and suddenly remembered Ben The Boffin and the time my friend Julia and I nearly had a poem read out on national television. This was back in the halcyon days of 1994-ish and Julia and I, when not sufficiently entertained by our antics in Annalise And The Messiah, used to compose love letters to Ben The Boffin in our spare time and send them off to The Big Breakfast. One day I got in from school and received a phone call from some producer/TV type or other to tell us they would be reading out the poem we had recently sent in on Ben The Boffin's slot later that week. We were so excited and told everyone we knew. Well, lo and behold, the day came and went and the poem was not read out. Boo. Looking back, I think it was probably because I was under 16 and the poem was rather racy, but maybe we just got axed because it wasn't that great. It came as rather a surprise to me this evening (amazing what depths of your mind you can plumb when trapped under a hungry baby) that I could remember the whole poem in all its glory, so I thought I would share it with the world at large here. Better late than never and I'm sure my readership matches The Big Breakfast's viewing figures. Everyone knows Google Analytics only shows 0.000001% of your actual readers, right? Here follows the poem that almost but did not quite give us our 15 minutes of fame.

Ben, Ben, Ben The Boffin
For you we'd end up in a coffin
Your sexiness drives us to despair
We write to you but you just don't care
We send you our love but you turn us away
Oh, please, won't you come for a roll in the hay?
So do us a favour and blow us a kiss
Tongues included if you wish.

d day (dulcie's due date)

2012-01-12T19:18:00.004Z

Dulcie praying that she can have two birthdays a year and get double the presents and cake. Excuse my boob!

Today is Dulcie's due date, which is a bit mental for want of a better word. I'm feeling kind of nostalgic about the whole thing and still wishing everything could have been different. Sigh. But I am trying to focus on the positives, something I'm getting very good at, or doing a lot of at least. There are a lot of positives, I know, Dulcie herself being the main one.

And haven't we all come such a long way since our tiny tot made her unscheduled entrance nine weeks ago? Not that you'd know it from this photo taken today! Dulcie just couldn't keep her pink bonnet out of her eyes and it reminded me of this snap from her actual birthday.

Happy unbirthday, Dulcie! I will fight your corner for double the presents and cake.

crochet lady

2012-01-10T20:20:00.004Z

I came across this giant crocheted lady in a shop window while out for our daily perambulation today. She was pretty striking!

Here's Graham (and Dulcie) for scale, although this photo actually makes the crochet lady look smaller than she was in real life. I think her big, crocheted bosoms gave Dulcie ideas as she cried for food from here until we got home.

And a close up of the crocheted shoes. I'm not sure who made this crochet lady or for what purpose, but I liked it a lot nonetheless.

(Edit: It's by Rita McGurn, I think. Should have done my research properly before hitting publish. Sorry.)

Talking of crochet, I am hoping to do a bit of a retrospective post on Craftathon 2011 at some point this month and share my (loose!) crafty plans for 2012. No particular reason to forewarn you of this post, but I'm more likely to get round to doing it if I mention it here.

insert real baby here

2012-01-09T16:55:00.003Z

You may or may not remember when I blogged about this outfit and took a photo of it arranged so that it was easy to imagine the baby that would fit inside it. Just in case anyone did remember that post, I thought it only fair to share a picture of the real baby in said outfit...

... and then I thought I should just share a couple more photos since said baby (with or without said outfit) is so darn cute. Well, we think so anyway.

Here's a tiny baby hand for those of you who don't have tiny baby hands to look at in real life.

We are love-love-loving having Dulcie at home with us and it seems like she is love-love-loving it too if her recent weight gain can be taken as a measure of her contentment. She now weighs a whopping 5 lbs 13 oz and actually gained an ounce a day over the last four days. What a star! I'm feeling very proud of my milk (I know that seems an odd statement) and very happy/relieved that all the hard work paid off and Dulcie is now 100% breast fed, loving it and becoming a bona fide chubster. Getting a premature baby to be a breast feeder is no mean feat, but we totally did it! Woo hoo! Dulcie feeds at least every three hours, sometimes a bit more frequently, so I never get more than two hours' sleep at a time, but I don't really mind for some reason. I think it's because of how excited Dulcie looks when I pick her up to feed her and how funny her farts are afterwards. Oh, how I laughed last night, listening to her trumping away in the dark! Have I really become one of those people? I will try to avoid sharing any details of her nappy contents here, just to be on the safe side.

This week we have been test-driving a second-hand pram that our friends are selling so have been able to leave the house, which is nice. The lovely navy outdoor suit I had bought before her untimely arrival is still way too big for her and may not fit her until the height of summer, but fortunately my auntie sent us this one in tiny baby size. I would never have chosen this in the shops, but now that I see her in it I just love it and wish she could wear it all the time. The suit is so thick that it makes Dulcie go stiff as a board with her limbs akimbo like a little starfish and the furry hood makes her look like a tiny eskimo. Aw! Add to that the fact that being so cosy sends her into a strange semi-trance and the green light is on for cute baby time!

Here I am (looking healthier and better rested than I am in reality) ready to take Dulcie on her very first outing to the park...

... and here is Dulcie in the pram on that outing. She lives in a world of colourful crochet!

day in the life - 26th december 2011

2012-01-03T10:36:00.005Z

I didn't take any notes for Day In The Life this month because a) I had forgotten it was Boxing Day since Christmas Day hadn't felt very Christmassy the day before and b) we were told in the morning that Dulcie would be coming home the next day so I was a little distracted (see "general panicking" section)! No notes means you are saved from my usual excessive detail and I have taken a leaf out of Claire's book and gone all mathematical on yo' ass.

I'm having the nicest time at the moment, just hanging out with Dulcie while being looked after by my mum. I'll be back with some photos soon, though I can't promise they won't be of a lovely baby! Happy new year to you.

home not alone/a hospital christmas

2011-12-27T16:32:00.006Z

Guess who came home with us today! Hooray!

We found out she'd be coming home yesterday and it was all a bit sudden and unexpected so we had to do a mad Boxing Day dash to Mothercare to get something for her to sleep in and we don't have much else. I suppose we don't need much, although it would be nice to feel a bit more organised. I'm trying to let go and take the "we have the next 18 years to get organised" approach but I would secretly love to have a place to put her clothes and nappies as well as something other than a towel on the floor to change her on. It would also be great if we had a pram as I have a hospital appointment tomorrow and have nothing to take her there in. We actually do have a second-hand pram but we haven't managed to clean it yet and it really needs cleaning. I can't bring myself to put her in it yet after the sterile hospital environment she's been in for the last seven weeks, almost. We are supposed to keep her away from germs (no big air-conditioned buildings or socialising with other babies/children) for the next few months because she was on oxygen for so long and it makes her susceptible to respiratory tract infections, which could be quite nasty for her. All visitors must wash their hands on entry to the flat! Hopefully nobody will be too offended by that request. I'm sure people will think we're being crazily over-protective parents, but it is what we have been instructed to do by the hospital and I would certainly rather be safe than sorry.

I'm too scared to leave Dulcie unattended for even a second since we got home in case the cats get too curious or go into mental attack mode, not that they have ever been particularly violent or aggressive in the past. You never know though! Do you see Poppy peering into the moses basket from her vantage point on top of the shelves?

Dulcie is blissfully unaware of her hairy older sisters so far and has been frightening them off with her very noisy windy emissions.

We enjoyed spending Christmas Day together even though it did not feel much like Christmas. Dulcie wore her fancy new cardigan (hand knitted by her granny) for the occasion and we gave her a bath especially. We brought all her presents to the hospital to open and Santa delivered a nice parcel to her there too. She got us a lovely handmade card, a very nice surprise! Her handwriting is surprisingly similar to one of the nurses'...

Dulcie had had a very unsettled night on Christmas Eve (she's been much better since then) and I had had next to no sleep and was feeling a bit overwhelmed with everything. When the "vegetarian" Christmas dinner I had ordered from the canteen turned out to be decidedly unvegetarian salmon, leaving me Christmas-dinner-less, it was the straw that broke the camel's back and I couldn't help having a good old Christmas weep. Unfortunately, a nurse caught me weeping, causing much concern amongst the medical staff. I don't think they believed simple tiredness and no Christmas dinner could push a grown woman to such a dark place. What can I say? I love Christmas dinner! Above is what I ended up having as a substitute - egg mayonnaise sandwiches (one white and one brown for a bit of variety), an apple and two yoghurts left over from someone's breakfast. Festive it was not! Thank goodness my mum is coming to cook us a belated Christmas dinner at New Year :)

Better go and look after this baby or something. I'm not sure what to do with her now she's here...

no wonder I was getting confused

2011-12-23T21:46:00.003Z

Now that I'm on antibiotics as well as all my heart medication (sigh... don't ask) I have had to invest in one of these old lady style tablet storage boxes. I was getting very confused about what to take when and could never remember, even 30 seconds after taking tablets, whether I had taken them or not. Sleep deprivation does terrible things to the brain, but once I arranged my week's tablets last night I could see why I had been finding it so hard to keep on top of. We're talking double figures of tablets every day. Yowsers! It has been so nice just to pop pills without thinking too much today. Out of context, that sentence could make this post sound much more exciting than it is!

This is the first year ever that I haven't done anything for Christmas. I haven't managed to write a single card or put up the tree or make a gumdrop wreath or even hang up a single strand of tinsel. I was not feeling the Christmas vibe at all and we had been discussing what to do with our sad Christmas evening when we would have to leave Dulcie behind at the hospital again, but today we had some good news. Dulcie (and I - credit where credit's due!) have been doing so well with the daytime breast feeding that I am getting to move in with her full time so that she can begin breast feeding overnight too and I am moving in tomorrow, on Christmas Eve, so I can wake up with Dulcie on Christmas morning and stay with her all day and go to sleep with her at night. There might even be room in the hospital bed for Graham to stay too. And just when you thought this little Christmas miracle couldn't get any better, it turns out Santa comes to visit all the babies and brings them a present! This is really the home straight now and Dulcie should be home with us soon, soon, soon. Right at the eleventh hour, it is beginning to feel a little bit like Christmas :)

last month's day in the life - november 17th

2011-12-22T21:44:00.002Z

1.00pm - the highlight of my day

It may seem kind of extreme to bother posting my Day In The Life over a month late (let it go, woman!) but since the 17th of November was the date I personally chose for Day In The Life, I feel duty bound to share my day. I chose the 17th of November for no reason in particular other than that it was the date of my first antenatal class. Hmm, well, obviously I did not attend that! I did have quite an eventful day though and one that I think is worth recording, even if it is a month and more late, so here it comes...

2.00am - My alarm goes off so that I can express milk for my baby that I wasn't even meant to have yet.

4.15am - I realise I must have fallen asleep again while getting my bosoms out as they are out now but as yet unmilked. This is not a good time of night for me this week and I start thinking about everything that is going on and begin to cry.

4.30am - I have to collect all my urine in cardboard containers for the nurses to measure but I accidentally pee straight in the toilet like a normal person and flush it away. Oops.

4.45am - I am still crying. One of the nurses comes in and takes me along the corridor to sit in the nurses' station with them. They give me a cup of tea (my first caffeinated drink since becoming pregnant!) and a slice of fruit cake and I get to watch all the patients' heart beats zigzagging away on the big monitor. It looks as though we all have rather random heart beats, but I am no expert in these things.

5.30am - No longer crying, I go back to my room and express some milk which I then pour down the sink. The doctors haven't decided whether it's safe for Dulcie to have my milk what with all the medication I'm on, but I am still expressing in the hope they might say it's OK eventually. It is a bit soul destroying at this time of night and I'm fairly certain they're going to tell me I can't breast feed. This is one of many things making me cry this week.

6.00am - The camera at the Southern is not pointing at Dulcie's incubator so I can only see a wall. This is often the case at night, but I would really like a quick peek at Dulcie before I go to sleep. I shout into the monitor to try to attract the nurses' attention so I can ask them to turn the camera round for a minute. No joy - I think they must have me muted at their end. I switch the lights out and go to sleep.

7.45am - I wake up from a dream where I've been walking around with one of the nurses and the wires from my heart monitor keep getting tangled around my ankles and tripping me up. I think the symbolism is pretty self-explanatory! Interestingly, this is one of only three dreams I have during my whole fortnight in hospital.

8.00am - The new student nurse comes in to check my blood pressure and another nurse takes my daily blood sample. I tell her that I heard the consultant saying (while he stood right outside my open door) that I "wouldn't thank him" for sending me for an MRI scan and ask her why this might be. She looks unimpressed at the consultant's people skills and reassures me that an MRI scan is nothing to worry about unless you're claustrophobic, which I am not really. I don't want the student nurse to give me my injection (the one she gave me yesterday is still very sore and lumpy) but I know I won't have the heart to say so when the time comes. I get weighed in the weighing chair. I weigh 78kg. I've lost about 10kg since being admitted nine days ago but I guess some of that weight was baby.

8.15am - I check in with Beverly, one of Dulcie's nurses, via the webcam. She tells me Dulcie is doing very well - she's now drinking 20ml of milk at a time and is still coping well without her breathing tubes. The next step is to move her from intensive care to high dependency, just as soon as there's a space available for her. Hooray! I get washed and dressed and wash my surgical stockings in the sink and hang them up to dry.

8.40am - Breakfast arrives. Today I have been given scrambled eggs. Again. I'm not sure I can face them. I asked for scrambled eggs once and haven't been able to persuade them to give me anything else since.

8.45am - The student nurse comes in to give me my pills and tells me she'll give me my injection after breakfast. Oh dear. I wash the breast pump and my nightie in the sink, not at the same time.

9.00am - A porter arrives to escort me to my MRI scan and he has no wheelchair! I'm getting to walk! This is very exciting - the first time I have been allowed to walk further than five metres in nine days - but the porter walks quite quickly and I struggle to keep up.

9.15-10.30am - I have my MRI scan. Twenty minutes in, I discover I am more claustrophobic than I thought and have to be removed from the tube in floods of tears. I think the hospital will have to bill me for hankies when I leave as I have gone through A LOT. I manage to calm down, go back in the tube and make it to the end of the scan despite having to listen to Robbie Williams.

10.30am-12noon - I go back to my room where Graham is waiting for me. The postnatal psychologist comes to see us. I go through yet more hankies, but it is very useful to speak to her.

12.30pm - The ambulance arrives to take me for my second ever meeting with Dulcie. Since it has been such a busy day, someone brings me a packed lunch to eat en route to the other hospital. It feels like a proper outing now! Stuck in traffic, a minibus full of pensioners look very surprised to see me lying on a stretcher in the back of an ambulance eating a sandwich!

1.00pm - We arrive at Dulcie's ward. She's finished with her antibiotics now so the doctor removes the tube from her bellybutton and then she comes out for a cuddle. The nurse puts her inside my nightie and she goes to sleep looking very contented with life. It's ace.

2.30pm - Time to go. Graham heads back to the flat to feed the cats while I travel back to my hospital in the ambulance. On the way we see a woman collapsed on the pavement and our ambulance driver has to jump out to administer first aid. Fortunately someone has already called an ambulance for her and it arrives soon after so I don't have to surrender my stretcher!

3.15pm - Back at my hospital, I send a few emails to update people with Dulcie's progress.

4.00pm - I express milk again. This is the first time I've been able to do it today so I'm worried my milk supply will have dried up, but it hasn't. Phew. In fact, this is my most successful breast pump session in days.

4.30pm - The nurse and student nurse come in to change my Caesarian dressing. It's like getting a bikini wax and there is much ouching from me and much laughter from all three of us. Apparently my scar is looking good and the student nurse is surprised by how small it is which is reassuring. I haven't seen it yet. Once they leave, I relax on the bed for a while and update my notes for Day In The Life.

4.45pm - I email more people to let them know that Dulcie has been born.

5.15pm - Graham arrives to see me, shortly followed by my dinner. Tonight it is disgusting chilli and not disgusting carrot cake.

5.45pm - My dad (who's in Glasgow for a meeting) arrives outwith visiting hours again! I keep telling him, but he pays no heed. The nurses seem to be turning a blind eye today though and he has cards and presents with him, so we'll forgive him.

6.30pm - My dad and Graham head off to visit Dulcie. I am shattered and want to sleep but email a few more people about Dulcie instead.

7.20pm - I chat to my dad, Graham and Dulcie over the webcam.

7.30pm - I express milk in front of EastEnders. I have no idea what goes on in Albert Square these days.

8.00-8.30pm - I try and fail to crochet the first two rows of a cardigan for Dulcie. I try and fail again. And again. I hate crocheting into the foundation row!

8.30pm - I have a lie down and watch Dulcie wiggling her bum.

9.00pm - Graham gets back and we try to find something on telly to watch.

9.20pm - Toast time! Late evening toast and butter is my favourite thing about being in hospital. Unfortunately, it is always accompanied by tablets and a really painful injection.

9.30pm - More milking.

10.00pm - I get some nice emails from friends and fellow subtitlers. My workmates are so lovely and have sent so many good wishes since I shared all the news with them.

10.20pm - Graham heads off to bed in his swanky room in the hotel attached to the hospital. My nurses have very kindly arranged for him to stay there for free while I'm in hospital so he can keep me company as much as possible. I start half watching Deuce Bigalow Male Gigolo.

10.30pm - I chat to Karen (one of my favourite nurses) who tells me my Caesarian will stay weirdly numb for ever. Nooo! She also checks my blood pressure etc.

10.40pm - Dulcie is wriggling around a lot so I chat to her over the webcam.

11.00pm - I catch up on a few of my favourite blogs.

11.40pm - Deuce Bigalow Male Gigolo finishes so I get washed, brush my teeth, express more milk and get into bed.

12.20am - I say good night to Dulcie and go to sleep at last.

Since I was incapacitated with babies and surgery and heart conditions etc, Claire kindly took over the job of collating posts and choosing someone to pick the date for December. Click on the links to find out how these people spent November 17th.

I believe Nikki is choosing the date for December's Day In The Life but I'm not sure if she has chosen it yet. Keep your eyes peeled!

remember this blanket?

2011-12-20T21:58:00.004Z

Dulcie and I got a private room to ourselves for the whole day today so we could do lots of naked cuddling in the hope it might encourage her with her breast feeding. I'm not sure how well it worked (she was pretty hungry by the time I left!) but it was lots of fun and her ripple blanket came in very handy as we smooched away on the bed and in the fancy reclining chair. Hopefully we should be able to use this room every day now until she masters the art of the milk.

Dulcie was totally tube free yesterday for the first time ever! Here's her lovely tube-free face. She had her feeding tube back in by the time I arrived this morning, but once she is managing to get all of her milk in the good old fashioned way, she'll be able to have the tube permanently removed and come home. She's been doing so well this week (look, no oxygen!) and just has this one last hurdle to overcome, but there's no telling how long it will take. The doctors and nurses are hopeful she will crack it soon and we might be able to have her home in time for New Year...ish. Maybe. We are trying hard to be patient, but having our own wee room today really showed us how lovely it will be to have her home at last and all to ourselves and we just can't wait.

Come on, Dulcie! You can do it!

happy mini birthday, mini girl!

2011-12-10T21:29:00.003Z

Can you believe this little sleeping beauty is a whole month old today? We had a lovely afternoon celebrating with her at the hospital.

She enjoyed a little dance with her dad...

... and we decorated her cot with some of my miniature bunting.

Happy mini birthday, Dulcie!

what becomes of the broken hearted?

2011-12-04T10:29:00.010Z

I am sure even the least observant of you will have noticed that I have been unusually absent on my blog over the last four weeks or so. After contemplating ditching the world of blogging for ever (it's hard to get back on the horse after so long when so much has been happening) I decided I should do one dedicated post to get things back up to date and then start trying to get back to some form of bloggy normality, so here is the short-but-still-long version of the last month's events.

I don't know if anyone will remember way back in about September when I had to visit the out of hours GP with a suspected urinary tract infection. I didn't have a urinary tract infection in the end, but while I was there the nurse noticed that my pulse was a bit irregular and advised me to go and see my GP about it even though it was very common in pregnancy and most likely nothing to worry about. Over the next couple of months I was back and forth to the doctor about it, getting blood tests that didn't show anything, spending lots of time with the doctor's stethoscope. The doctor agreed that it was nothing to worry about, very common in pregnancy, probably just caused by my insides being all squashed and my diaphragm rubbing against my heart a bit, but he decided to refer me to a cardiologist to get an ECG done (and maybe an ultrasound scan or similar) so that they had a record of what my wonky heartbeat was doing, but he reassured me again that it was absolutely nothing to worry about and I really wasn't worried.

So late afternoon on November 8th I left work a little bit early and headed over to the hospital for my appointment with the cardiologist and, obviously you can see where all this is going, it turned out that my irregular heartbeat was something to worry about after all. In fact, it was something to be so worried about that I wasn't allowed to leave the hospital and was admitted to a cardiology ward immediately. In fact, the doctors were so worried about it that I wasn't even allowed to walk down the corridor but had to be taken to the ward in a wheelchair where I was told not to get out of bed for any reason. A whole host of medical staff kept coming in and asking me (among other more scary and strange questions) had I really been at work that afternoon and had I really used public transport and the power of my own legs to get to the hospital for my appointment, exchanging incredulous glances and raising their eyebrows a lot. All of this gave me the pretty clear impression that things were serious, although the only symptoms I had were a bit of breathlessness and very slightly swollen ankles, not exactly unusual for a pregnant lady.

As you can imagine, if the doctors wouldn't let me walk 20 metres or even stand up, they were not particularly keen for me to be pregnant. The consultant started talking about the possibility that the baby might have to be delivered a little bit early and they began giving me steroid injections (very painful ones right in the bottom) to help the baby's lungs develop "just in case".

After a sleepless night of watching my heart on the monitor (realising the doctors were not making this up and it really was very wonky) and having my blood pressure taken every 30 minutes, about six doctors appeared at sunrise and told me that I would be getting transferred immediately to the hospital where all the heart specialists lived, where I would be having the baby by Caesarian section the following morning. Everything started moving scarily fast and I was whisked to the maternity hospital in an ambulance for a scan to see how big/developed the baby was and then taken straight to the heart hospital where the full horror of the situation was explained to me in tiny instalments over the course of the day. Editing the whole mountain of bad news down to the bare essentials for the sake of this blog post and your eyes, which must be feeling the strain by now, I was told that I was too unwell to be able to have a spinal anaesthetic during the Caesarian and so would have to have a general anaesthetic, and even if they didn't have to keep me knocked out for two days as they were suggesting they might (an idea that absolutely terrified me) by the time I came round, the baby would already have been taken to neonatal intensive care at an entirely different hospital and I would be staying right where I was, not even having seen our baby.

So on the morning of November 10th our baby was delivered and we had a little girl who weighed 3lb 12oz, a very good weight for a baby at 31 weeks' gestation apparently. Graham and my mum and dad got to meet her very briefly before she was whisked away in the ambulance and they assured me she was lovely.

THE BABY'S FIRST PHOTO, COMPLETE WITH APPROPRIATELY PINK HAT, ALL READY FOR HER AMBULANCE JOURNEY TO NEONATAL INTENSIVE CARE. MEANWHILE, I WAS STILL UNCONSCIOUS IN THE OPERATING THEATRE.

The hospital staff set up a webcam so I could see the baby in her incubator from my hospital room, first in intensive care and then on a heart failure ward. This was better than not seeing her at all, but it was still just the most miserable time ever. I cried and I cried and I cried and I cried. I had lots more tests and scans done over the next few days and weeks and I cried through them all. Then I cried a bit more and every day I begged the doctors to let me go home or at least be transferred to the same hospital as the baby but the answer was no, so I cried and I cried and I cried and I cried some more.

THE WEBCAM, MY CONSTANT BEDSIDE COMPANION DURING MY HOSPITAL STAY. I WAS ABLE TO SEE THE BABY IN HER INCUBATOR AND TALK TO HER NURSES WHENEVER I WANTED TO.

Graham and my parents visited the baby every day and I watched them visiting on the webcam and cried some more and they brought me back photos of the baby (all covered up with tubes) and I cried some more.

OUR FIRST "FAMILY" PHOTO. THERE I AM ON THE SCREEN IN THE BACKGROUND.

Eventually, after five solid days of crying, the doctors could stand it no longer and agreed that I could go and meet our baby, provided I travelled by ambulance and took a nurse and my heart monitor with me. So I finally met our little girl when she was five days old and while I was having my first ever cuddle with her we decided we would call her Dulcie Lois.

OUR FIRST REAL FAMILY PHOTO, TAKEN WHEN DULCIE WAS FIVE DAYS OLD , NEWLY NAMED AND MEETING HER MUM FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME. AND, YES, I KNOW I DON'T LOOK IN THE LEAST BIT ILL, BUT I AM! HONEST! I'M ACTUALLY LYING ON AN AMBULANCE STRETCHER HERE.

Dulcie has been doing really well since she made her debut appearance over two months ahead of schedule. She was moved out of intensive care and into high dependency when she was ten days old and on Wednesday evening she made her second attempt at moving out of her incubator and into a cot, and this time she has coped with it really well and is managing to keep herself warm with only a mountain of blankets and her granny's hand knitting to help her. She has been gaining weight slowly but surely and this week she got back to her birth weight and past her birth weight and is now a whopping (to us) 4lb 2oz! On Saturday she will be a whole month old already! She is still getting a little bit of oxygen now and again to help with her breathing and she still has to be fed through a tube, but over the last few days she has been trying her hand at breast feeding and she's getting pretty good at it, even though she gets so exhausted that she can't suck for more than a minute or two.

HOW EXHAUSTED (AND RELAXED!) DULCIE IS AFTER A FEW MINUTES OF BREAST FEEDING. POST-PREGNANCY SQUISHY BELLIES MAKE VERY GOOD BABY PILLOWS, FORTUNATELY.

Dulcie's really very adorable, if I do say so myself, with hundreds of hilarious facial expressions and crazily long arms and legs. She is very patient with us and our inept attempts at nappy changing, which is much easier now that we don't have to do it with our hands stuck through the incubator portholes! She doesn't cry very often and when she does it is the tiniest little noise you could ever imagine. Her nurses assure us this will change! The doctors can't give an exact date for us to be able to take her home (it depends how she gets on with feeding, breathing and growing) but they are hopeful that she might be home around Christmas or New Year.

I finally got out of hospital after two long weeks and many nasty procedures like having tubes fed into my wrists and up my arm and right into my heart, not something I would recommend if you can possibly avoid it! The doctors are not sure what made my heart stop working - maybe the pregnancy, maybe a temporary blockage (like a blood clot) in one of my coronary arteries, or maybe a heart attack - but whatever the cause, the treatment is the same. I'm still having to visit various hospitals for appointments most days (sometimes three times a day) but at least it means I am free to spend time with Dulcie whenever I like in between times. I am not feeling ill in the way the doctors assure me I should be, but am quite tired and light-headed from all the medication I have to take and a bit depressed with the whole situation and the fact that I am spending so much time in waiting rooms where I am the only person under 80. The doctors say everything is going well so far and that they are very optimistic that the medication will help my heart, but we won't really know for sure until I have been taking it for at least six months. At the moment it's quite difficult to forget about it and just enjoy having Dulcie, but I am sure it will all be much better/easier once she eventually comes home.

DULCIE AS SHE LOOKS NOW, ALL GROWN-UP AND CUTE IN HER COT.

I should add, just so it's on the record, that Graham has been completely amazing throughout all of this, super supportive in the most and least practical of ways, keeping me focussed on the good aspects of what has happened as well as keeping on top of everything in the house and generally being lovely to me. And my parents have been a huge support too, running back and forth to Glasgow (a long journey to make multiple times) and finding the perfect balance of being there for us all and giving us space. The only downside of all this is that I'm pretty sure my mum has officially fallen in L-O-V-E love with Graham!

So that is where I have been for the last four weeks - busy having life-threatening heart conditions and premature babies, not just taking a well-earned break from blogging after blogtoberfest! The doctors don't seem to be considering a month of daily blogging as a potential cause of heart failure, but I am not so sure. Now that I have got the old blog all up to date with recent events I will aim to share my November's Day In The Life post later this week and start getting back to normal blogging (albeit less frequent and more focussed on babies and boobies, I expect) as soon as I can. Many, many more photos of the lovely Dulcie to follow!

remember this thursday, please!

2011-11-14T22:51:00.002Z

Remember...
Originally uploaded by Madeline Olivia

PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT ON THIS POST IF YOU DO BLOG ABOUT YOUR DAY AND I WILL MAKE UP A LIST OF LINKS AS SOON AS I CAN. THANKS :) MY OWN DAY IN THE LIFE POST WILL BE SLIGHTLY DELAYED BUT NEVER FEAR BECAUSE I TOOK EXTENSIVE NOTES!

Hello, world. I am kind of out of action at the moment, but just wanted to pop by to remind everyone that this Thursday (the 17th) is the date that I chose for November's Day In The Life. In case you don't know what I am talking about, this is really just an opportunity for bloggers to get together and share the minutiae of their day. You can write a list of everything you do or you can get more imaginative. In the past people have recorded their day in the form of a pie chart or an A to Z or just by posting pictures. You can tackle the challenge however you like. Once everyone's done, I'll compile a list of links to everyone who took part this month so we can all see what other people have done with their day. No matter how boring you think your day has been, I can guarantee it will interest someone else! It's not very easy for me to blog etc this week (there have been some unexpected incidents) so I'd really appreciate it if you could help me spread the word by reminding people via your own blog/twitter/whatever. I'll share my day as soon as I can too. So that's this Thursday, November 17th. Have fun :)

kirstie's handmade britain

2011-11-06T08:13:00.004Z

This week I have been catching up with Kirstie's Handmade Britain, watching an episode in the morning while I eat my breakfast and hang out with the cats. I'm really liking the series so far. I did enjoy Kirstie's Homemade Home (I know opinion was very divided on this most controversial of matters!) but was getting a bit irked at how she would try a craft for about an hour, leave her project with the expert for them to finish and then go on about how she made it herself. In this series, she has to see the projects through to the end, although I do wonder how the other competitors feel about her having so much expert guidance. I also have some doubts about the anonymity of the judging, especially in this week's needlework episode. Very suspicious, if you ask me! But I do love Kirstie (my lookalike if Graham is to be believed) and it's great to have a fun programme about crafting on the telly. Plus we always enjoy the crazy world of the craft/baking tent when we go to the Aberfeldy Highland Games, so it's fun to get a glimpse at other shows around the country. My mum has been watching this series too and seemed very enamoured with Mr X Stitch (though didn't he just come across as a lovely man? aw!) when I spoke to her last night. When I told her that my Little Red Riding Hood embroidery was once featured on his website, she was very excited and said she was very proud of me. I think she saw it as a bona fide celebrity endorsement. Tee hee! Have you been watching Kirstie too?

firsts and lasts

2011-11-05T10:33:00.004Z

Here is the first item I made with the much sought after mustard (and blue and brown) wool. I made this cardigan last weekend. It took two train journeys and a couple of hours on the sofa. This is the third cardigan I have made with this pattern now and much as I would be very happy to start on another one today, I am going to make this my last crocheted cardigan, for a little while, at least. There are so many other things I want to make for the baby, starting with a pair of crocheted cowboy boots to go with this. Yee ha! Graham thinks a baby-sized balalaika is all we need to complete the outfit (huh!) but he is wrong. He'll know we need crocheted cowboy boots once he sees them.

Here's the cardigan with a bit more sunshine, which shows off the golden colour much better.

Yesterday I did my last pre-baby late shift at work where I had my first argument with a subtitling colleague. Not fun. I hate conflict :( But on the upside, I am so glad late shifts are over for me now. My work have been great over the last few months and made all my late shifts start and finish a little bit earlier, and also made sure that I wasn't doing too many in a row, but I was still finding them torture. I hate admitting that I can't do certain stuff very easily now that I'm pregnant, but I think I am ready to admit that I can't work until 10 o'clock at night any more. Since I am back to waking up at about 4am most days, it just doesn't give me enough sleep to be able to handle life.

Today (depending on when Graham gets back from getting his hair cut) we might be attempting our last pre-baby full-day charity shopping excursion and for the first time, I think, we are missing out part of our route. I am feeling the effects of pregnancy very much these days and have the lung capacity of an elderly gnat. The new and reduced route only misses out four charity shops (two of them usually not very good) and the chocolate cherry brownie shop (nooooooo!) but it cuts down the amount of walking we have to do by quite a lot. If we don't do this today, we are going to go to a few more local charity shops instead and reschedule the last great charity shop shebang for a couple of weeks' time. Graham (who has recently witnessed me not managing 30 minutes in the town centre and saw how much I struggled round the charity shops a couple of months back) is not convinced I am fit for the challenge, but our days out have been such a big part of our relationship over the last eight years and I am really determined to do it one last time while it's still just the two of us. I can do it!

And one last exciting first... I'm getting to pick the date for November's Day In The Life and I have decided to choose Thursday the 17th. No particular reason, really, other than that it's nicely in the middle of the month and I have my first antenatal class that day, which might (or might not) give me something interesting to say. Please spread the word and do join in if you can. I will post a little reminder nearer the time.

covered in stitches (see what I did there?*)

2011-11-05T07:52:00.002Z

The No.1 Ladies Detective Agency
a photo by Embellisher on Flickr.

This month Feeling Stitchy have been having a sewing contest inspired by Penguin's recent embroidered covers. I really wanted to give this a go, but decided my to-do list for this month was already a bit too full. Lots of people have had a go though (check out the other stitchy covers in the flickr group) and I will file this project away as something I might try in 2012... or 2013!

* I just noticed the flickr group is called Covered In Stitches, meaning I didn't actually do anything! Oh well...

unillustrated day in the life

2011-11-02T20:37:00.005Z

Here follows my day in the life post for October 31st 2011, a day on which I failed to take any photographs. I did have a grand idea of drawing some accompanying pictures, but frankly you should count yourself lucky to be getting the words. Good lord, I am pooped this week! Roll on the weekend, I say. Anyway, here is pretty much everything I did on Monday 31st October. You can find out what other people did on this day by checking the comments here, although it doesn't look as though many people have completed their posts just yet.

7.00 am - Lola doesn't understand the clocks have gone back, so all our training of the past month goes out the window. She had been getting very good at waiting until either a) the alarm went off or b) it got to 8 o'clock before she started her attempts to wake me up, which involve miaowing in my ear and scratching my face and elbows or combing my hair with her claws. Using everything I've ever learned from watching Supernanny, I lie firm and pretend to be asleep for a full hour of miaowing and scratching. Hopefully Lola's amazingly accurate internal body clock will adjust within a week or two.

8.00 am - I get up, feed the very excited cats and eat my breakfast while checking my emails and favourite blogs. Graham is rushing around the flat with a gobful of mouthwash, getting ready for work. I enjoy my daily entertainment of trying to make him laugh and spit the mouthwash out. Today I succeed and laugh heartily as he has to dash to the sink before exploding everywhere. Mwahahahahaha!

8.45am - Graham leaves for work and I shower and get dressed.

9.30am - I write my final blog post for the month of October. It wasn't easy, but I managed to blog every day for a whole month. Hooray for me!

10.30am - Blogging took longer than expected and made me lose track of time a bit, so I quickly gather up everything I need for the day and leave for work. I am helped along by the fact that I only ate half the picnic my mum had prepared for my train journey the day before (so have a leftover sandwich to take with me) and find a tin of Baxters soup in the cupboard. Phew!

11.00 am - I arrive at work for a DVD shift. I quite like subtitling DVDs (you get to be really pernickety) but I know it's not going to make for a very interesting day in the life post as it is such a slow process. My first task of the day is to review episode five of The Fades. The series has turned out to be more entertaining than I had expected from episode one, but this is the third time I've had to watch this episode for work reasons in the space of about ten days and I'm getting a bit bored of it now.

11.45am - The chair I have ended up with today is a bit broken and won't let me lean back at all. Every time I try to rest against the back of the chair, it starts tipping backwards and threatens to throw me onto the floor. Normally there are spare chairs kicking about the office, but every single one of them has disappeared and there is not a spare chair in the whole place. After ten minutes of searching high and low, I overcome my embarrassment (my back is sore after one hour of sitting on this chair so I really don't want to sit on it for another seven) and send an email round to ask if anyone knows where all the chairs have gone. Within minutes someone produces a much better chair from one of the live subtitling booths, but I quickly realise I have caused an accidental revolution. Emails are flying back and forth about the terrible state of the chairs in the office and various managers are fussing around me, bringing me numerous back supports and offering to give me their very own personal favourite chairs. Later I find out they once had a near legal disaster when a decrepit chair fired a pregnant lady across the office.

1.30pm - Finished with The Fades, I make a start on Him and Her, the BBC3 "comedy". I have never seen it before and don't find it very entertaining. I'm using the programme's script to subtitle this, something I've only learned to do very recently. I have no idea what I'm doing and it makes my brain hurt and I want to run away or go home.

2.15pm - I eat my lunch and recharge my brain power a bit. I have the kitchen to myself so manage to have a mini nap (much needed) on the sofa until a manager comes in to make coffee and starts asking me if my chair is OK now.

3.15pm - Back to work on Him And Her. Yawn!

3.45pm - The new software fails and means that nothing I try to do works. I spend a long time trying to make sure it's not just me being stupid before asking a manager for help. He can't work it out so asks someone else who can't work it out either. In the end, they suggest the classic switch-it-off-and-on-again solution which works.

4.00pm - Back on track, but still wrestling with this Him And Her script.

4.20pm - Make an executive decision about whether it's OK to use the label LAURA FARTS as opposed to LAURA BREAKS WIND. These are the strange sorts of things I have to consider a lot (along with how to spell rude/sexual words that don't appear in our dictionaries).

4.25pm - I email Graham to escape the extreme boredom for a few minutes and take my mind off the mental heat and my indigestion.

4.30pm - Back to work. Ugh. And it's dark outside already!

4.35pm - I visit the X Factor website for work reasons, trying to find out if it's Bootcamp or Boot Camp. It turns out it's Bootcamp, but there's so much X Factor news on the site that it makes my internet die to find out and I have to reboot it.

5.00pm - I open a window and stick my head out of it in attempt to cool down. So hot in here! The heating is not on now, but I notice the temperature control had been set at 26 degrees. 26 degrees?! Come on, people! I know who the culprit is and wonder if there's any way we could be scheduled to work opposing shifts. Nice as she is, I can't stand the crazy heat she claims she needs.

5.15 -5.30pm - I open more windows and get in a messenger conversation with Claire about air conditioning, petrol spillages and day in the life. Neither of us are having very interesting days for it so far, but at least Claire has the drama of being highly flammable as she is covered in petrol. We wonder whether it will be safe for her to microwave her dinner later and I suggest she should use her managerial status to delegate the task. You can read more about Claire's petrol incident here.

5.40pm - I find out my application for a stall at Made In The Shade's Holiday Hop has been successful! Woo hoo! I'm not sure how I will find time or energy to prepare for this, but I am still very excited at the prospect.

6.40pm - I try to teach a colleague how to send subtitles using the new software, but her file is a rogue file and much scratching of heads ensues.

6.55pm - Just when I think I might be able to sneak out five minutes early, I mess up a bit of admin and have to stay to sort it out. Ugh.

7.10pm - I leave the office and head to the underground.

7.12pm - I miss my train while trying to get the ticket out of my purse and it's over ten minutes until the next one. I'm not very good at standing up these days, so I get on the next train to arrive and go the long way round. I enjoy the chance to sit down and read my book.

7.40pm - On the way home from the underground station I get severely rained on and get leg cramp while climbing the hill, but make it home eventually. Graham lets me in and manages not to laugh at how much I am puffing and panting with wet hair and steamy glasses and a funny walk because my legs are still cramping. Ouch.

7.50pm - I catch up with Graham over dinner (chilli and wraps from the freezer).

8.15pm - I mooch around on the internet while the cats fight over my warm lap space.

8.30pm - Both cats squeeze in on my lap and we all watch the latest episode of Misfits. It's probably the worst episode of Misfits there has ever been, but it's still OK and I have high hopes for the rest of the series.

9.30pm - We watch the last episode of League Of Gentlemen series two. We've been working our way through these lately. Lola thinks it is 10.30pm (supper time) so miaows a lot, but we do our best to ignore her.

10.15pm - I feed the cats and get ready for bed. I read a few pages of my book while I wait for Graham.

10.30pm - Our noisy student neighbours decide to move their party out to the back garden, so it's basically like they are standing right by our bed and shouting in our ears. They are really annoying in so many ways. We lie awake and moan about them, but I am trying hard not to get angry otherwise I won't be able to sleep even if they ever do shut up.

11.30pm - During a brief respite in the noise, I fall asleep and manage not to wake up when the noisy neighbours apparently return. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

happy halloween!

2011-10-31T09:49:00.004Z

Happy Halloween! Are you doing anything spooky today? I might watch a scary film later on, but that's only if I can resist watching last night's Misfits. I'm so excited about the new series, although a little worried that it won't be so good without Nathan. Fingers crossed the writers won't have let us down. Do you see the spooky witch stamp on my train ticket from the weekend? The ticket inspector on the train seemed like a real jobsworth at first (making people sign unsigned railcards and asking to see seat reservations etc.) but he had brought in his own witchy craft punch to make all the tickets spooky and all the travellers were surprised and delighted when they spotted it, myself included. Very fun.

Elgin was good, although a weekend does always go by a bit too fast. Other than eating so much delicious food, the main activity of the week was organising and shopping for baby clothes. Here is Beyonce-Buble's new wardrobe laid out on my mum's living room table. As you can see, this baby is not going to be short on stripes. I was pleased to get so many unisex things that were not just cream or yellow and got especially excited looking at the navy outdoor suit in the top left corner there, I think because it is so thick that it actually looks like there is already a baby in there. These clothes are a mixture of hand-me-downs from my sister and her friends (things that she doesn't need for her own impending baby), things my mum and sister bought for me at a second-hand baby sale (you know what I mean and it's not a sale of second-hand babies!) in France and a few things we bought new this weekend. I will share just a couple of highlights with you.

Eeep! My mum found this at the second-hand baby sale in France and I just love it. It's so soft and snuggly and the colours are beautiful and just look at the embroidered leaves on the tree and the little bird above the pocket. I can't wait to see our baby in this. There was another lovely knitted suit amongst the second-hand baby sale items, which is plain charcoal grey with a nice cable in it, also super soft and snuggly. I don't know if French baby clothes are more lovely or if there was just someone with great taste getting rid of a lot of stuff at this sale, but either way it worked out well for us.

This is a hand-me-down from my sister that I was very excited to see. I bought this for my eldest niece Kim (now six) because it reminded me of the stripy baby Toby from Labyrinth. I remember holding Kim in this outfit when she was super-duper tiny and it was so snuggly and cute. It's made from velour. I think my other niece and nephew have also worn it, but Kerry thought I should have it back for Beyonce-Buble this time around. Aw!

It's just occurred to me that I might not have referred to the baby as Beyonce-Buble here before and you could be feeling rather confused reading this. We've been calling the baby that for quite a long time, since it seemed right to have a name to refer to it by (rather than "it" or "he/she") but I didn't like using names we might actually use in the end. The Beyonce part comes from the fact that fancy lady Beyonce is also expecting and the Buble part... Well, Graham's hairdresser was telling him that in Chinese culture, babies are named by their grandparents. We were speculating about what sort of names our parents would choose for the baby and decided that Graham's mum (a dedicated Michael Buble fan who can use the word "Buble" so many times in one sentence that it stops making any sense) would definitely go for Buble. So the name Beyonce-Buble was born and in my mind it is completely unisex so it doesn't make me imagine the baby as either a girl or a boy particularly, something I am keen to avoid doing.

Here are two more great things about being in Elgin - the real log fire and Patch the elderly three-legged cat. We were trying to work out how old he was this weekend and think he might be about 22 in human years, making him over 150 in cat years! He's been missing a leg for about 20 years and is getting very stiff, short-sighted and hard-of-hearing, but he is a lovely cat who purrs a lot. This year he has stopped wanting to go to the toilet in the garden, so has a litter tray in the bathroom. He won't use it when anyone else is in there though, so he queues up in the morning and waits for him turn. Aw.

And so completes my final post for Blogtoberfest. Although the quality certainly varied (it's probably not a good sign that my blog has less followers/members now than it did at the start of the month!) I am still very proud of myself for managing to blog every single day. I had thought I might take the whole of November off if I succeeded, but now I find I have all sorts of things I want to share here because it's become so normal to write something every day. I'm certainly not going to keep up the daily blogging, but I will definitely be back soon to share my latest crocheted creation and whatever else is on my mind.

Enjoy the rest of Halloween and don't forget that today is Day In The Life, so you can blog about every little thing you do if you fancy joining in.

train tracks cause bad backs

2011-10-30T21:08:00.002Z

089, a photo by Loosetooth.com on Flickr.

Phew! Following a six hour door to door trek, I am back in Glasgow after my weekend in Elgin. The journey was really pretty good. I finished my latest crochet project about ten minutes outside Glasgow so was entertained all the way, but I am now seriously pooped with a sore tail bone and ain't got the energy to upload the photos necessary for my planned post. But isn't this dress print lovely enough to use instead? It does have train tracks on it, so is not totally unconnected really. I'll be back tomorrow with pictures of baby clothes, a little bit of Halloween fun and my thoughts on having completed blogtoberfest (plus a giant pat on my own back). Just one day to go...

And don't forget that tomorrow is the designated Day In The Life date for October if you fancy joining in and sharing the minutiae of your day on your own blog.

a postcard from elgin

2011-10-29T21:05:00.002+01:00

Alexander Northern, Leyland Olympian @ Elgin, Scotland,1989
Originally uploaded by Lady Wulfrun

Having a lovely time here in Elgin. The train journey to get here was very pleasant (I crocheted all the way from Stirling to Keith) and the weather has been beautiful since I arrived. I have mostly been spending my time crocheting by the fire with Patch the three-legged cat for company, but have also been eating lots (and lots) of very tasty food, admiring the wildlife and scenery, and visiting lots of charity and non-charity shops with my mother. We bought some baby clothes and it made me feel very organised.

Wish you were here!

Laura
xx

underground resistance

2011-10-28T09:50:00.003+01:00

Glasgow underground is being "modernised". They cancelled the plans to extend the route (which would have been amazing) and instead are replacing the orange and brown colour scheme that I love so much with...

... boring and nondescript white tiles. How depressing. Hillhead station is being changed at the moment and every day a few more of the interesting tiles are hidden by the attack of the bland. Yeuch. I will admit the underground system does look dated, but it was really just beginning to look dated in a very good way and I do think they should have tried to hold on to its identity just a bit. I know the Glasgow underground is no Prague metro, but perhaps it could have angled itself as Prague metro's cousin. Not any more. Boo.

One good thing about the work getting done has been seeing all the exposed brickwork in the roof space. I can't think of any other good things about it so far.

In other news, I just can't believe how happy I am. This morning I was looking at the mess (our mess) that surrounded me in the kitchen (our kitchen) and I couldn't stop smiling. Just thought I'd share that! Hope you managed to keep your breakfast down...

Better go and pack my bags before I hit the road. I did have an exciting guest post planned for tomorrow, but the guest blogger has been sacked after making non-committal/maybe noises about whether or not he really would blog. I am not blogging 28 days in a row just to have unreliable staff let me down on day 29! So somehow I will have to find a way to blog from Elgin without my mum and dad noticing. Yes, I like to keep my blog as secret as possible from people who actually know me. This is strange behaviour, I will admit, but I know I'm not alone in it. Most of my friends have found my blog by now, but I'd really rather they hadn't. If only I hadn't designed a logo with my real name on it, then I could have stayed anonymous for ever.

the good news and bad news of new shoes

2011-10-27T19:38:00.004+01:00

These are the new shoes I mentioned a few weeks back. They are very... sensible, which is just what I was after. The bad things about these shoes are 1) they are bruising my ankles because I am not used to sensible shoes that actually support things like ankles, 2) they have developed a slight squeak which makes me feel very self-conscious when making my very frequent trips across the office floor to the toilet, 3) the soles are quite bouncy and give me a funny walk a bit like Will from The Inbetweeners, 4) they are very... sensible. However, these shoes' one major good point outweighs all of these bad points, namely that they keep my feet dry! I have been out in all sorts of torrential rain, wading through puddles etc. and my feet have stayed cosy and dry as a bone. In the 13 years I have lived in Glasgow, I think this is the first time I have been able to go outside in autumn/winter and not get wet feet. Hooray!

Later on tonight I am going to have one of the cherry and cinnamon scones I made the other day. Yes, even though I blog every single day, I still manage to do all sorts of things that readers of this blog don't know nuffink about! (Not really - I just forgot to blog about them until I saw the photo on my camera tonight.) The scones turned out really delicious, but this will be the first one from the freezer that I have tried. I hope it's still nice. If so, I will take one as part of my packed lunch for my long train journey tomorrow. I am going away for the weekend to visit my parents, leaving Graham in charge of things around here. I am looking forward to being mothered (and fathered) and fed. I'm going to take some crochet for the train journey too, so I want to go and finish the cardigan for my sister's baby tonight (just half a sleeve to go!) so that I can take a new project with me tomorrow.

another day in the office

2011-10-26T19:05:00.004+01:00

Well, I feel a bit lame blogging about what I have been subtitling two days in a row, but it's not just laziness. I actually had a totally different post planned for tonight (two to choose from in fact!) but I just had to blog about Frozen Planet instead. It's on BBC 1 tonight at 9pm and it is just so, so good. The animals in tonight's episode are amazing, but the little bit about snowflakes (see clip above) really tickled my fancy. I never knew that each snowflake was formed around a particle of dust. There's something about that idea that I just love. I will look at the first snow shower quite differently this year, thinking how if the world didn't have dust (current bane of my life since our neighbours are knocking down practically every wall in their flat) then we wouldn't have snowflakes at all.

my day at work (the short version)

2011-10-25T19:13:00.002+01:00

Best subtitling task of the day. Hooray!

Worst subtitling task of the day. Ugh!

sunday at the cinema

2011-10-24T11:42:00.002+01:00

Yesterday afternoon we went to see We Need To Talk About Kevin. I was really in two minds about whether or not to go. I thought this could be the most ill-advised film for a pregnant person to watch (I was also worried about it putting the parenting fear into Graham) but, because it was directed by Lynne Ramsay and had such great reviews, I couldn't resist in the end. I'm glad that I did go and see it. It was a really engrossing film and gave me lots to think about without actually giving me any fears that I didn't already have. I'd be really interested (if time travel was possible and I could take a copy of this film back with me) to see what my reaction would have been before I got pregnant. I seemed to be a lot more angry with the father's character than Graham was and it reminded me of the time we watched Control (the biopic about Ian Curtis) in the early stages of pregnancy. That film left me quite furious and vowing to turn off the radio whenever a Joy Division song came on, a reaction I'm sure was down to hormones and anxiety. I've calmed down now though!

have you seen this yet?

2011-10-23T09:16:00.004+01:00

Asking For Trouble 5 Year Diary, a photo by marceline (diskant | asking for trouble) on Flickr.

Have you seen this exciting new item from Asking For Trouble? It's a five year diary. Designed for people who are not very good at keeping a diary usually, it has just a small box to record a few notes for each day. You start it on January 1st 2012, fill it in all year and then go back to the next box on page one on January 1st 2013... and so on. Come the end of 2016, you can look at any page and see what you did on that specific date over the last five years. It also has some other exciting features like a personal profile you can fill in once a year to see how your tastes and fancies have changed too. I think this is such a fun idea and I might have to treat myself to one for Christmas. I have quite a lot of half used diaries lying about (I found a few when looking for that issue of Melody Maker the other week) but I think even I could jot down a couple of notes each day and hopefully not just write, "Went to work, had dinner, watched telly, went to bed," five days a week either!

Have you seen any fun items popping up on the internet lately? All Christmas present ideas would be gratefully received!

things I saw on my travels

2011-10-22T15:16:00.003+01:00

Yesterday afternoon Graham and I needed to go into town for some stuff. I took my camera and photographed some fun sights. I thought this bike was very lovely and the flowery shower cap keeping the seat dry added a bit of colour to a very dull, grey and rainy day.

This foxy hat made us both laugh. I think it was in the window of River Island, but I may be wrong. I was too intent on not being caught taking photos in a shopping centre to pay much attention to the name of the shop.

I'm pleased to see the bakers have all got their garish halloween cakes on display, but I don't think I'll be eating any. I'm a bit frightened of this level of food colouring.

I am in a prime grump today and have that icky, fuggy feeling that is either caused by too much sleep or not enough of it, I'm not sure which. I have a perma-scowl on and can't bring myself to do nothing or anything. Harumph. I'm quite fancying climbing back under the covers for a long afternoon nap, but I don't think that would be the most sensible thing to do in the long run. Maybe putting the heating on would help. Brrr! My plans for later are to watch the X Factor, go to bed at a reasonable hour and hopefully wake up in a better frame of mind/body tomorrow.

three little hurrahs

2011-10-21T12:13:00.003+01:00

The view from up here - Lola worshipping at the altar of my belly.

Just a wee high-speed post today. Three good things.

1. I slept all night last night! I even stayed in bed until 10am! I feel so much better!

2. Yesterday, when I tried on my tights to see where the first incision would have to be made, I realised that they were actually OK just as they are. Seems like my bump is now robust enough to stand its ground against nylon and lycra... if that is what tights are even made of? Yippee!

3. I don't have to go back to work until Tuesday now. Hooray for a four-day weekend!

today's challenge

2011-10-20T09:20:00.001+01:00

Denier Nylon Tights from circa 1950s, a photo by billyrosendale on Flickr.
Very cute vintage tights packaging, I thought, though I'm not sure what purpose the cat serves...

I mentioned yesterday that I had been in town looking for a dress to wear to a wedding reception tomorrow night. The pickings were slim - New Look had got rid of their entire maternity section (the only one in Glasgow's city centre with more than three items to choose from) and everywhere else seemed to have nothing but jeans and big woolly jumpers. In the end, I found something in Dorothy Perkins. Their maternity section was actually larger than expected and they had a whole five dresses to choose from. Unfortunately, none of them really grabbed me, so I thought the best thing to do was to try them all on. Four of them looked like flabby old flour sacks and one looked much nicer on than it did on the hanger, so I bought it. Looking at it on their website now, I think maybe I bought it a size too small, but c'est la vie. So after buying the dress, I went to get a pair of maternity tights, but the dress is decidedly navy and apparently maternity tights only come in black. Nooooo! So today's challenge is to convert a normal pair of navy tights from my drawer into a pair of maternity tights by inserting some sort of panel. While lying awake for 90 of last night (that's now three consecutive nights without sleep - zzzzzzzzzz) I spent my time thinking about how best to tackle this and came to the conclusion that I really don't know what I'm doing. Initially I had thought about using stretchy material for the panel, but I worry this will make the tights liable to fall down. The dress is quite short, so any falling down leaves me in peril of showing off my gusset - always a totally classy look! So now I'm thinking a non-stretchy panel in the hope that the stretch from the tights will do the job of providing flexibility and comfort, although it would be nice if the tights would grow with me over the coming months, something I'm not sure they'll do with a non-stretchy panel. Then there is the question of what shape and size to make the panel and whether to have one big panel at the front or maybe two V-shaped panels at the sides... Never having seen a pair of maternity tights out of their packaging, I am kind of clueless as to how they work. The most important factors (my design brief!) are that I should be comfortable and that I should have no unsightly bulges... apart from the baby bump, obviously. Oh, it's a challenge all right! I will let you know how it goes.

ps I'm not sure why Blogger won't let me change the size of this font. I hope you are not suffering from eye strain now. Sorry.

lucky me!

2011-10-19T12:38:00.005+01:00

On the way back from town (where I had to find a pregnant-lady-appropriate outfit to wear to a wedding reception in two days' time and was reduced to tears by the harassment of charity workers combined with the effects of another sleepless night) something really fun happened. As I was walking along Great Western Road in the sunshine, I noticed...

... a book sitting on a table outside Roots & Fruits. I thought it belonged to someone in the shop, but a few doors on I noticed a book sitting on a table outside Felix & Oscar and then another book sitting on a table outside Cafe Alba. My suspicions aroused, I looked more closely and spotted...

... this sticker on the corner of each book and realised that all three books were free to a good home. I had a good look at them all, but ended up choosing the first one I had seen, which was...

... Smoking Ears And Screaming Teeth by Trevor Norton, a book all about people who have experimented on themselves and the consequences. I am more of a fiction reader usually, but this book sounded fun and interesting and I thought it might overcome my currently poor concentration skills with its outrageous truths.

All the books were being given away as part of the Guardian and Observer Book Swap. Apparently thousands of books are being left all over the country. I feel very lucky to have found one and it has the double bonus of giving me something (an actual thing) to blog about today too! I'm glad I happened to have my camera in my bag for once because it means I can go and add my photos to the website. Actually, I had better do that later since I need to eat before work. I hope I don't have to subtitle anything too emotional tonight - sleep deprivation is really making me weepy (even though I feel very happy with my day and life in general) and it is always embarrassing to cry in the middle of the office... as I discovered when subtitling Undercover Boss yesterday. Wish me luck!

cats + fire = lazy blogging

2011-10-18T20:03:00.004+01:00

I'm really running out of Blogtoberfest momentum but, not being ready to admit defeat yet, I thought I would do yet another post about how nice it is to have an operational fire and cats to enjoy it with. I had a very productive morning yesterday (doing crafty stuff too functional/boring and too Christmassy to share here now) before crashing and burning and spending the rest of the day generally being exhausted/lazy. It was so rainy outside yesterday and the flat was absolutely freezing, so Poppy, Lola and I were all very glad to have the fire on for the evening. Graham was glad too since it meant he could dry out his soaking wet cycling shoes as seen behind the cats there.

It all got a bit too much for Lola in the end and she spent most of the night with her tummy on display.

Just look at her little face! Aw, I love her so much.

Sad as I know I sound, I am off to vegetate in front of some crap telly until bed time. I woke up at 3.45am this morning and did not get back to sleep, which is why it was such bad news when my work phoned me at 8.45am (just when I had decided to go back to bed for the morning) to tell me I would have to come in on my day off. It wasn't so bad once I got there and I spent most of the day ~~subtitling~~ watching a film again, but I am now shattered and a bit brain dead. I'm going to try to hold off from going to bed until 10pm for fear of waking up at stupid o'clock if I go to bed too early. I think the baby has had as little sleep as me (it kicked away all night and kicked me all day at work in its usually quiet time) but it is showing no signs of flagging yet. Oof! I love it when it has active days like this - it's just nice to know it's definitely there.

pick me up

2011-10-17T09:03:00.004+01:00

A few years ago I was completely addicted to reading this magazine. My sister loved it too. We both loved it so much that I even got her a year's subscription to it for her first (paper) wedding anniversary. Eventually I had to go cold turkey on Pick Me Up because it was actually making me depressed.

So I don't buy Pick Me Up any more and my life is infinitely better for it, but I do still like to flick through certain features when I see it on the shelves of the supermarket. The tip-offs page is always my first port of call, full of useful and useless tips. I think the useless ones were probably my favourite. But look closely at the tip-offs page above. Do you see anything you recognise? My kitchen table perhaps?

Here it is! Yes, I went through a phase of actually submitting tips to Pick Me Up and had a few of them featured, which was great because a) Kerry and I found it absolutely hilarious to see my blurry photographs (I only had a disposable camera) and ridiculous tips appearing in the magazine and b) Pick Me Up sent me a cheque for £25 every time they used one. Woo hoo! I should confess now that I have never tried putting wine through the Sodastream to make "champagne"... but I do know someone who has!

One of my other most amazing tip-offs to be featured was my discovery that if you burn something to a pan so badly that it is completely black and will not come off, all you need to do is heat some tinned tomatoes in said pan and then the black marks will clean off easily. I had missed buying Pick Me Up the week that was featured (about the only issue I did miss back in those dark days) but, thanks to my sister's annual subscription, I did get to hear about it after the fact.

This issue of Pick Me Up also held something very exciting.

It's somewhere on this page and it gives a little nod to my tomatoes tip-off. Can you see it?

It's a poem by my sister all about the tip-offs page. If you're having trouble reading it, you should be able to click on the image to see a larger version. Believe it or not, every one of the tips she references in the poem was genuinely found in the pages of Pick Me Up, even the one about using sanitary towels as slippers. It gives you a good idea of why we found Pick Me Up so hilarious, I think. However, five years later and my sister is still waiting for her promised payment. Shame on you, Pick Me Up!

my "working" sunday

2011-10-16T21:26:00.005+01:00

This is my Friday night, the end of my working week. I'm pooped, but actually had a pretty nice day considering it was a Sunday and I was at work for ten hours. I kept striking it lucky with my subtitling tasks today and landed loads of versioned repeats. If you're lucky, this can sometimes mean pretty much just watching a programme with subtitles and today I was very lucky indeed.
My morning started with Jonathan Creek...

...followed by Blackadder II...

...followed by The Illusionist. This was not the film I had expected when I saw the title sitting in the list of subtitling jobs to be done, but it was very enjoyable nonetheless. I bet you are wishing you applied for that job vacancy I told you about now, right? Yes, someone actually pays me to do this! Still glad to have the day off tomorrow though!

this post contains nudity, strong language and frightening stuff

2011-10-15T16:46:00.005+01:00

We watched American Werewolf In London quite recently. It was Graham's suggestion one evening, though I had been thinking about it a lot. I've seen a few interviews with John Landis where he talks about his thinking behind this transformation scene and how it seemed obvious to him that it would really, really hurt for your body to change its physical shape that much, something that previous werewolf films hadn't really shown before. John Landis is a wise man. It never crossed my mind that pregnancy would work in much the same way. I swear I can hear my ribs cracking today. Ouch. Still loving it though :)

triple link whammy

2011-10-14T09:57:00.003+01:00

Lovely mustard loggy wallpaper by Roddy & Ginger. It's right up my street.
Roddy & Ginger's online shop and etsy shop and blog.
Very lovely lighthouse print by Marcus Walters, posed alongside some equally lovely stripy glassware. Marcus Walter's online shop.

And the third link - notes to a further excuse, a lovely blog I started reading quite recently where I found both the items above this week. You should go and have a look round if you have a hankie ready for mopping up the drool. So much nice stuff in one place!

Man alive, blogging every day is hard now I'm back at work and doing the dreaded morning, noon and night shifts. The shift is only 10 hours long, but somehow leaves no time or energy at either side of it. I'm not sure how much longer I'll be able to keep up my Blogtoberfest vow... but I'll try!

the end of my tether (an appropriately titled book?)

2011-10-13T09:04:00.005+01:00

If I achieved one great thing in my week off (apart from making the world's greatest cardigan that I can't go a single post without mentioning) then it was to finish this book at long bleedin' last. It was a struggle. My concentration skills are not the best at the moment and maybe I would have romped through this book and enjoyed it at any other time, but then again maybe I wouldn't. Have you read it? Was it any good? I honestly don't know! I did like all the mythical folklorish stuff in it. It told me that cats born in May are guaranteed to be trouble. When were my cats born? Mm-hm! It also told me that you should spit whenever you see a white horse, something my granda always claimed, spitting in his hand whenever we passed a white horse in the car, though nobody ever knew where he got the idea from.

When I did the last Day In The Life post on September 2nd, I mentioned being relieved that one of the cats distracted me from a book I had just started because I couldn't work out who any of the characters were. Well, that was this book and 600-and-odd pages later, I still couldn't work out who was who, who was dead, who was alive or what was going on. I was tempted to stop reading this book so many times, but I find that very difficult to do so I kept going. I was still tempted to just stop reading it about 15 pages from the end, surely a bad sign! As I said, I persevered and finished it, though I'm not sure there was that much point. I haven't got a clue what I just read.

Now I am reading a book called The Adventures Of A Bed Salesman, which is not as naughty as it sounds (it's actually more about life in 1960s East Germany than it is about sex, I think) and so far I am enjoying its large type. Ah, the simple pleasures...

cosy cats, big bellies, special scones

2011-10-12T10:22:00.006+01:00

For a while Poppy was a bit wary of my baby bump and Lola got my lap all to herself. Now, as you can see, the bump and my lap are both suddenly very popular. I love it when both the cats sit on me at once, especially when I have my crochet right beside me for easy entertainment within arms' reach. You can probably also tell from this photo that the glowing stage of pregnancy seems to be over. It was disappointingly short-lived!

The baby was actually investigating Poppy's purring head when this photo was being taken. I was surprised Poppy hung around as long as she did...

...but she did abandon me for Graham's lap eventually. Since I got pregnant, Graham's lap is usually Poppy's first choice. It's quite sweet really. Poppy used to go crazy and maul Graham every time he tried to stroke her. Nowadays she gazes at him all besotted instead.

And here's another cosy scene from the same night. I set my belly free for a bit (and broke my vow not to put any bare-belly shots on this blog) and Lola snuggled in. Soft cat fur on a bare belly is such a nice feeling. Mmmm! My belly looks like the moon here, but isn't it well moisturised? I got a few more stretch marks this week, but am persevering with the moisturisation anyway. That said, I've just realised I forgot to do it this morning. Oops.

So it's the last day of my holidays and I'm trying to have a productive morning before allowing myself a lazy afternoon of crocheting in front of the telly. I have made it into the mess of the craft room at last but am not sure where to start with the tidying. Hmmm. I think I'll allow myself to be satisfied with just a small dent in the mess. I was also planning to make cherry and cinnamon scones today (by adapting this basic recipe) but that would involve leaving the house to get cherries and it is dank outside. Yes, dank is definitely the word. Eugh. So I might leave the scones for another day, especially since I am making a scone-like pizza base for dinner tonight. I haven't made scones since I was a very small child, but have been fancying a cherry and cinnamon scone for weeks. (We have cinnamon shower gel at the moment, so I fancy cinnamon something most days.) When I was 17 or 18 I used to drag my long-haired motorcycling boyfriend to a little tearoom with frilly tablecloths about once a week so that I could have a cherry and cinnamon scone with a hot chocolate. He always looked a bit uncomfortable, but the scones were so good it was worth it. I'm hoping I'll strike it lucky and manage to recreate the taste of those scones on the first attempt. All scone-making tips gratefully received :)

fancy being a subtitler?

2011-10-11T16:48:00.002+01:00

colour television, a photo by dropstitch on Flickr.

Two posts in one day? Controversial! But I keep meaning to mention (and keep forgetting) that my work are hiring at the moment, looking for subtitlers for the Glasgow office. The deadline for application is the 14th and you can find all the details here. I really like my job - lots of nice colleagues, just the right balance of challenging/not challenging, plus you get to pat yourself on the back for providing a valuable service without it taking over your non-working life. Oh yeah, and you get paid to watch telly! Best not mention that last point in your application though ;)

the 101 of glamour (not really)

2011-10-11T13:58:00.003+01:00

I made the mistake of looking at vintage craft books on etsy the other day. Now that was an untapped vein of greatness and consumer cravings if ever I saw one! I really want this book, among others, but if there is one thing I probably don't need, it's more vintage craft books. Well, I do have room for more on my shelves and in my heart, but I don't think I should allow myself to get into buying vintage craft books online, especially not from America. Hmm. You'll notice I can't bring myself to post a link to this book just in case someone else buys it, though! If I bought this (bargain though it is) I think it would be opening the floodgates and goodness only knows where it would end. I will resist... for now.

I told myself I was going to begin sorting out the craft room today, but our new neighbours are getting lots of work done to their flat this week and the builders keep setting off their burglar alarm. It is L-O-U-D loud! In the craft room it is really unbearably loud. I think I know this is a poor excuse. After all the baby scares and stresses of last week, it was a conscious decision to cancel any hard-working/practical plans and just use my time off to put my feet up. But now I can't quite believe I have to go back to work the day after tomorrow and then won't have any proper time off until (gulp!) maternity leave. What have I achieved in my week off? Other than crocheting the world's greatest cardigan, of course.

I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed today, having been pushed over the edge by Boots (how dare they?!) sending me a parenting magazine. It was full of useful tips about what I should be doing to get organised in these final three months pre-baby, but I couldn't even look at it without having a flaky. I feel so far away from being able to tackle anything practical. I just don't know where to even begin. Sigh... Plus I was back at the doctor about my wonky ticker this morning and was hoping that would be the end of it, but my blood tests didn't provide any answers and then the doctor noticed yet another anomaly with my heartbeat that he hadn't picked up before so I am having to go and see a cardiologist. I'm not really worried about it (the doctor was very reassuring and thinks I am probably wonky within the realms of normality) but it just seems like one more thing that has to be sorted out/thought about.

I feel like I need to achieve something practical today for my peace of mind, but all I really want to do is have a nap on the sofa in front of some crappy afternoon telly. Hmmm. Do I use the last of my valuable time off to continue to relax and recharge, or do I force myself to do something, knowing that when I go back to work on Thursday I will have even less energy? Bah. It'll all be OK in the end, I'm sure, and at least the baby won't be short of cardigans!

annalise and the messiah

2011-10-10T10:46:00.003+01:00

For most of the 1990s my friend Julia and I (pictured above in about 1997/8) were in a band together. To begin with we had a few more members and we went through a few different names, but ultimately the band was just us two and we were called Annalise And The Messiah. Before we were able to get into pubs, we spent almost all of our free time writing and recording songs, making T-shirts, writing stories about ourselves, even making a film, which I really wish I could share here, but I only have on VHS. We used to distribute our "albums" to anyone who gave us a blank tape to copy them onto. We also gave copies of our tapes to celebrities and bands that we liked. Two bands actually asked if they could cover one of our songs, though neither came to fruition. I have a postcard somewhere from Tim Wheeler (from Ash) thanking us for our "disturbing" tape and asking us if we'd mind if Ash covered Sheila The Impaler. Can you imagine finding a postcard like that on your doormat at the age of 15?! Very exciting!

Another of our band's highlights came in 1995 when we sent off a demo tape to Melody Maker. We were highly sceptical that it would ever actually be reviewed, but the very next fortnight, there was Annalise And The Messiah featured in the national music press! At the time I was 15 and Julia would have been 16. I don't think many people could understand why were so excited about such a scathing review, but to us this was the best thing ever and it still makes me laugh even now.

I was particularly proud that our lyrics were misquoted. Instead of, "You, you are the mango fruit of my bum," we actually sang, "You, you are the pamanga fruit of my bum," the pamanga fruit being a fictional fruit from an episode of Power Rangers. (Well, durr!)

I have lots of our songs stored right here on my computer and would actually love to share some of them with you in all their lo-fi greatness (you can hear Julia's mum cleaning the doorbell in the background to one of the songs) but have no idea how I would do that. Maybe one day!

Here are some pictures of how I looked back in those halcyon days. With green hair and a ridiculously flat stomach at T In The Park in 1995, sporting a rucksack I made myself out of a pair of my old school trousers and a top from the charity shop. I haven't really changed much, have I? Well, apart from the flat stomach!

And here I am in Julia's bedroom wearing a vintage top from a car boot sale and the tiniest little Union Jack mini skirt that I loved and my mum hated.

If anyone knows an easy way to share mp3s on Blogger then do let me know and I'll put up a selection of our tunes. I'll also add that postcard from Ash if I can find it.

I'll be back tomorrow with another very different press feature featuring yours truly...

ultimate winter rug

2011-10-09T18:27:00.003+01:00

On the geeky side - needle felted polar bear
By FforFelt on etsy

I seem to have been favouriting a lot of polar bears on etsy recently. This needle felted (miniature) rug is the most recent polar addition to my favourites. Isn't it great? Last night I continued being comatose on the sofa and watched the entire 2.5 hours of X Factor. We had the fire on and a couple of happy cats purring away the entire evening. If only we'd had a polar bear rug, the winter wonderland of our living room would have been complete! I should add that straight after X Factor we switched to More 4 and watched the latest episode of Mark Cousins' The Story Of Film: An Odyssey, counteracting the brain rot with a good dose of culture. It's been a really good series so far and there's still lots more to go (15 hours in total!) so you should check it out if, like me, you feel the need to add some highbrow to your Saturday night viewing.

This afternoon I went out to meet a couple friends and saw some bands playing as part of an Americana festival that's apparently going on. It wasn't really my kind of music, mostly, but it was not a bad way to spend a Sunday afternoon (and I needed something to separate me from the crochet!) plus it made me think that I should really share a relic from my musical past on here... Did you know I had a musical past? Very mysterious! I will reveal all (well, some) tomorrow.

scotland street school

2011-10-08T18:34:00.003+01:00

Today Graham and I braved the miserable weather to visit Scotland Street School Museum. If you're ever in Glasgow, you should go. It's such a nice building and has all sorts of great exhibits about education through the ages, all very interesting. This was actually Graham's nursery and it has always been a source of much hilarity for me that Graham is so old that his school is now a museum.

We've looked round the museum a few times before, so today we just went to see the photography exhibition that they have on at the moment, showing scenes of everyday life in Glasgow in the 1970s. The photographs were so good and we both really enjoyed it. It's going to be there until early January, so you should make sure you go and see it if you have the chance.

As well as the photographs, there was a small selection of 1970s clothing to try on. I think this might have been intended for children, but we squeezed ourselves into these classy numbers anyway. You probably can't tell from this picture (an over-small hat makes anyone look not their best) but this is officially the world's best boyfriend. I have been strangely exhausted today and while I have been comatose on the sofa before and after our outing, Graham has cleaned the kitchen and bathroom, sorted out the cats' litter tray, hoovered all over the place and is currently making us dinner. He also carried all the shopping home, made me a tasty lunch, brought me back a cake from his morning cycle... And all of this without me having to ask or even hint.

I am feeling thoroughly looked after and safe and cosy - just what the doctor ordered after all the drama earlier in the week. I guess this sort of treatment could be classed as one of the perks of pregnancy :)

poetry in motion

2011-10-07T12:22:00.005+01:00

Ta-da! I managed to get another ball of green wool and finished off the cardigan this morning. I love it so much and can't wait to make more. I'm going to start on one for my sister's impending baby later today. A few months ago my sister decided to give up knitting and crochet because they were stressing her out (I think she had a big backlog of projects she wasn't finding the time to get through) so she donated a big bag full of various wool to me. I'm going to use some of her nice wool to make the cardigan for her baby and this time I am using a colour I have LOADS of for the main body. Yeah, I learn from my stupid mistakes.

Talking of my sister... I couldn't sleep last night and at 4.30am I had a poem that my sister wrote years ago running through my head. It suddenly dawned on me that I should have shared some of my sister's poetry here yesterday since it was apparently National Poetry Day, but I will share it today instead since it has popped into my head now for some reason. Kerry wrote this poem about her cat Bruno when she was just a kitten. Bruno was a lovely cat who died just a few months ago. (Incidentally Bruno was a girl, but by the time that was discovered, the name had stuck and she always really suited it. In the past our family has also had female cats called Ian Black and Elvis.) Here is the poem about Bruno.

Small cat, furry cat

Black cat, purry cat

Eyes green, tail kinky

Drinks her water from the sinky.

Kerry also writes really good haiku (haikus?) about her family. She hasn't posted any online in a long while, but she does have a haiku blog if you want to read more. I will share a couple of my favourites here.

While I blog, silence.

Later, when I kiss my son

he smells of cat food...

Angus eats pasteque.

(That's French for watermelon,

with less syllables).

I think they're really good. When I first started this blog, I used to post old entries from my sister's school diary on Mondays. They are a fun look into country life in the mid-eighties! If you want to read some (and be entertained by photos of my sister and I as children) you can find them all clustered together here.

Oh! The postman just arrived bearing my mustard wool! The colour is great (yippee!) but now I have a dilemma. Should I put the mustard wool to one side and make the cardigan for my sister's baby first, or should I be selfish and make the mustard cardigan for our baby now, now, now? I will decide later. In the meantime, I had better go and have some lunch before my friend Kristy gets here to take me on a trip to Mothercare (oh, the things that excite me these days...) followed by a trip to eat cake. I am rather impressed that I have blogged for seven days in a row now. Are you?

crochet calamity

2011-10-06T09:28:00.003+01:00

Disaster has struck and I ran out of wool with a sleeve and a bit to go. Noooo! I'm going to head into town later today and see if I can find another ball the same. I'm hopeful I should be able to since I only bought this wool when I was making the ripple blanket, so it was not too long ago. If not, this cardigan will have to have mismatched sleeves or just one three-quarter length sleeve for that asymmetrical eighties look. I will keep you posted.

If I hadn't run out of wool, I definitely would have managed to finish this cardigan last night. I am so pleased with all the new stitches I learned, especially front post treble and back post treble which are used to make the ribbed border at the bottom. I am feeling like quite the crochet pro :) That said, I am going to have to unravel that first sleeve as I have gone wrong somewhere and ended up with not as many stitches as I should have. It shouldn't take long to remake it though. You can be sure that I would be making do with a skinny sleeve (or throwing the whole project in a drawer) if this had been knitted!

In other great crochet news, I found some mustard wool at last! Hooray! It's a bit of a gamble buying this online, but I'm quite hopeful about the colour since I saw a ball of Patons 4-ply cotton in "gold" (the same name as this wool) in a shop and it was the perfect colour. I have ordered gold, teal and brown and am looking forward to making another one of these crocheted cardigans with a pair of matching cowboy boots. Yee ha!

I should really do some non-crochet crafting today. I've got some bunting and brooch kits to make for Made In The Shade and they are long overdue. My craft room is a serious tip though, which is putting me off getting started. I should go and clear myself a little space now. If I was organised, I could drop off goodies with Made In The Shade on my way into town to look for green wool.

RELAX! NOW! DO IT!

2011-10-05T11:17:00.003+01:00

Well, best laid plans, etc, etc. Today I have neither returned to work nor full sanity/ease of mind. Sigh... But on the upside, look at the lovely crochet I did last night and this morning! I think I'll be able to get this cardigan finished today (if I can work out the three stitches I don't know how to do that are needed to add the sleeves and button border) and then I'm going to choose some really lovely wool and make a few more. This is really my first time following a proper crochet pattern (as opposed to a repeated pattern like the ripple blanket or a granny square) and it has all been surprisingly straightforward. So far I would definitely recommend the pattern (available here for just £2) if you have any babies to make for - it has been really easy and is already looking ridiculously gorgeous in real life, even in the cheap wool I decided to use for a first attempt. And it would have taken me weeks to make the equivalent of this in knitting. Discovering crochet has definitely been my craft highlight of 2011.

So last night was not a lot of fun. After trying so hard to relax all evening (and I was getting there!) I climbed into bed and instantly started bleeding everywhere. Poor bleary-eyed Graham's requested early night was ruined as we had to jump in a taxi and make our second hospital trip of the day. We were there until the wee small hours of the morning before being told everything was fine and we could go home. I am trying hard to trust this diagnosis, but it is hard not to feel a bit uneasy still. Last week I was really enjoying how cosy and secure the baby felt bobbing around inside my tummy. Now everything feels a bit precarious :( But there's not really a lot we can do, having been thoroughly examined and told by people who know a lot more than us that things are OK. And the baby has been reassuringly head-butting my bladder all morning, so things could definitely be worse. Plus last night's hospital trip was the first time Graham had heard the baby's heartbeat, something he'd been really curious about.

So I haven't had much sleep and I feel a bit... meh, but I am going to carry on crocheting and giving myself reassuring pep talks for the remainder of the day. And I have a week's annual leave starting tomorrow, so this relaxation can carry on for a full eight days now. Hopefully everything will return to "normal" soon and I can stop worrying that the baby will fall out every time I stand up! How annoying that everything went pear-shaped just as I vowed to blog every day, eh? Onwards and upwards.

and relax

2011-10-04T15:00:00.004+01:00

I spent most of this weekend knitting. It must be months since I started this simple cardigan to go with the rabbit-ear hat, but somehow I was not getting around to finishing it. I was actually beginning to get stressed out just thinking about it and its unfinished state, so it feels good to have it done and the process of getting it done was really quite relaxing, helped along by listening to Jarvis Cocker's Sunday Service on Radio 6 while I tackled picking up all the stitches to make the border. All the cardigan needs now is some buttons, but that can wait for a while yet. For my next trick I plan to (try to) crochet that lovely cardigan pattern I got from etsy. Hopefully it will be a bit more exciting to look at than a plain black cardigan too!

Talking of stress and relaxation, the last couple of days have actually been horrible. Some weird stuff was going on this weekend (I will spare you the gory details of my bodily malfunctions) and it all made me a bit uneasy, so when the baby decided to go into hibernation yesterday, I pretty much freaked out. I had a horrible day at work, not managing to concentrate at all and just wishing I could feel the baby move, even though it is really always pretty quiet during my working hours. The logical side of my brain told me I actually had felt the baby move a little bit (which I had) but the illogical side of my brain told me I had only imagined feeling it and that something was horribly wrong. When my line manager cornered me in the kitchen to ask if I was OK, I just... well, broke and started blubbing into the pasta I had just prepared. One of the lovely lady managers at my work took control of the situation, threw my pasta in the bin, switched off my computer and sent me home early. I spent all of last night staring at my belly and waiting for something to happen, but it was all still pretty quiet. There was one little kick of objection when I played it Wandering Star by Lee Marvin, but this was not enough to convince me that everything was OK (wasn't it possible that I could have imagined it?) and I spent the whole night worrying while awake and having terrible anxiety dreams while asleep. So this morning I phoned work to say I wouldn't be coming in and took myself off to the hospital. When the midwife put the heart monitor thing on my belly, the baby kicked it so hard it actually leapt in the air, so even before I heard the heartbeat it was fairly obvious that everything was fine. The midwife says the baby has probably been lying with its arms and legs facing outwards for a while and now it's turned round the other way so I'm just not feeling its kicks as much. She also said that this would be what was causing my bump to seem suddenly smaller and more squidgy, not the baby dying and starting to decompose inside me as I had managed to convince myself was the case. I do find that ridiculously extreme thought kind of funny now, but it definitely wasn't funny when I really believed it with one half (the crazy half) of my brain! Anyway, as I suppose I knew deep down, everything is fine. I came home from the hospital and had a great nap of relief on the sofa, and intend to spend the rest of the day deep breathing before returning to work and full sanity tomorrow. I did have my doubts about sharing the crazy paranoid lady side of myself here, but I would like to be able to look back on this blog one day and be reminded of what it really is like to be pregnant, mental warts and all. And hopefully I'm now re-entering a happy and excited phase of pregnancy for a while, touch wood.

Now, does emptying the dishwasher count as relaxation?

hushabye mountain

2011-10-03T22:06:00.002+01:00

I love this song. Once when we went to see Richard Hawley (swoon!) he said he'd been planning to do a cover version, but changed his mind because someone else had just released one. I really wish he would cover it. This week I have been considering writing to him to ask if he might. Hope this gives you sweet dreams.

insert imaginary baby here

2011-10-02T10:51:00.004+01:00

Behold, our baby's first outfit! I find placing the hat just above the sleepsuit like this helps me imagine the real baby that will inhabit this space in just over three months. Yep, you heard me, three months. I had seen these sleepsuits in the shops a couple of months ago, but made myself resist them for some reason, probably fear. I went back to look for them last weekend and was so upset to find they were sold out. Fortunately they still had some online so I ordered them on my lunch break one day and they arrived yesterday. This was part of a three-pack with, amazingly, no duff sleepsuit hiding amongst it. The others are a red and white stripy number (perfect for this stripy household) and a white one with an elephant that says, "Please don't forget me," which just cracks me up every time I see it, though I am prepared to admit this may be hormone-related.

My mum gave me a doom-and-gloom baby chat last weekend and I momentarily lost my baby excitement, which made me feel very sad. I've been working hard to get it back though, helped by the arrival of these sleepsuits and the even more exciting arrival of our friends' new baby girl, Sunniva. We visited her on Sunday (when she was just a few days old) and she was so adorable that we both got very excited about meeting our own. I also got to hand over the ripple blanket at last - woo hoo!

In other pregnancy news...

Two total strangers have asked me when I was due, so I think my bump must be bigger than I am imagining. This is a good thing.

The giant pillow is working a treat - my hips are not nearly so sore and I am sleeping for most of the night.

I am still exhausted post-work, which was why it was such a struggle to make cakes for the Macmillan coffee morning on Wednesday night... and why it was so annoying that I arrived at work on Thursday with said cakes still sitting on my kitchen table at home! Durr! Don't worry - I did my bit by buying and eating cakes made by others and Graham's workmates apparently enjoyed the cakes I'd made.

My feet are apparently swollen. I had to get new shoes a whole size bigger than usual. After I had tried them on, I couldn't get my old boots back on my gargantuan feet. Eventually I pulled them so hard that the sole fell off one and I had to flap home like a comic-book tramp. Talking of which, I need to go and superglue them back together if I don't want to go out bare-footed later on.

p.s. I am secretly and unofficially signing up for Blogtoberfest so am aiming to blog every day for the whole of October. I'm not promising to have something interesting to say every day, but I will do my best to pop in and say at least something daily. Of course, if I really believed I would stick to this, I would sign up officially, but it surely can't do any harm to try. 2 days down, 29 to go...

when good cats turn bad

2011-10-01T10:57:00.004+01:00

This cat used to be white. Since disappearing up the chimney last night, she has been decidedly grey. I'm not sure she'll ever be clean again.

Ever since Lola has been on a diet (about six months now) she has changed from a fat but happy, sweet-natured cat to a slim-line pain in the arse. She miaows almost constantly and scratches my face and arms from about five in the morning, hoping I'll cave in and give her her breakfast early. Over the last week, she has taken to climbing up onto the kitchen sink and breaking into the cupboard where her food is kept. She hasn't managed to get into the food yet, but she has knocked a pile of saucers into the sink at 3am, waking us all up with a serious start. Today she has started miaowing for dinner a full seven hours ahead of her dinner time. Aaargh! She also peed on my dad's shirt last weekend, but that really wasn't her fault and she was very embarrassed. My mum had accidentally locked Lola in their room while we all went out for dinner and so she couldn't get to her litter tray. Poor Lola. (Click the link to hear the song that partly inspired Lola's name - no wonder she turned out to be trouble!)

All that said, Lola does make us laugh on a daily basis... by disappearing up the chimney, miaowing constantly (you can actually have conversations with here and she told us this week that she was a Tina Turner fan - who knew?!), peeing on my dad's shirt and raiding the cupboards. We wouldn't be without her. Mrkgnaow!

I got mail!

2011-09-24T08:56:00.002+01:00

Royal Mail Cycle, a photo by kenjonbro on Flickr.

The postman just arrived with the five-foot-long pillow I bought myself on ebay. I think he came in a van rather than by bike (unless he was balancing the pillow on his head and had no other deliveries to make) but this picture was nicer. I'm beyond excited about my new pillow, honestly. I have high hopes for a full night's pillow-cuddling sleep this evening. It's just a shame there will no longer be any room for Graham in the bed ;)

I actually had a better sleep than usual last night (well, until I woke up irreparably at 5.30am) because the cats decided to leave me in peace. I've just found out this was because they were harassing my parents all night instead. Ha ha!

yummy cushions

2011-09-23T09:17:00.006+01:00

Oh wow oh wow oh wow. How beautiful are these woven cushions by Karen Barbe, the lady whose tutorial I followed to make my woven circular patch a few weeks back? I just can't fathom how you sit down at a weaving loom with some strands of thread (it's not even thread, is it?) and end up with these beauties. I am so ignorant of how real weaving actually works and I wish I wasn't, but it does seem kind of impenetrable to a total outsider. If I won the lottery, I'd give up my job, buy myself a loom and fly Karen over to the UK to teach me how to weave. In the meantime, I could save up some pennies and buy one of these cushions instead - available here.

I think it might have been about this time last year that I blogged about how much I loved Donna Wilson's house cushion. It's the winter cosy craving kicking in, obviously.

I haven't felt very connected to my blog here lately. Time is just flying by. I think it's been because my work has been going through an unusually Monday-to-Friday phase and I'm back in that frame of mind where you count down the days during the week and then cram in as much as you can at the weekends and then find it's Monday morning again before you know it, when you start counting down the days to Friday night again. Also, by the time I've been getting home of an evening, I have been fit for nothing. I am really quite exhausted. Graham and I have been trying to watch a film most evenings since that only involves collapsing on the sofa before crawling to bed, but still counts as doing something with your evening. My request to watch nice films that won't leave me traumatised has not been fulfilled in the main (too many people getting clubbed to death by hammers and stabbed in the neck with stanley knives for my liking) but I was allowed to watch Danny Deckchair the other night, an Australian film about a man who ties balloons to his deckchair and flies off to another town where he finds true happiness. Apparently it's based on a true story (what?!) and it was just the easy-going nonsense I needed to banish all the previous film violence from my brain.

Today I have some tidying to do before working a late shift since my parents are coming to visit this weekend. I'm really looking forward to seeing them, but am dreading how tired I will still be come Monday morning with Friday an almost imperceptible dot on the horizon and the danger (danger!) of being on call next weekend too. I shouldn't grumble, really. Other than extreme tiredness and incredibly sore hips and the related leg cramps, it's all good. The baby is turning into a crazy kicker and I love it, even though it kicks me in the bladder every time I have to do something mega-urgent at work. It also seems to be reacting to the outside world a lot more. The other night Graham spoke to it through my tummy and it went crazy and kicked him in the head about ten times at the sound of his voice. Yesterday morning Poppy was leaning against my tummy and purring for a good 45 minutes and the baby was fluttering about the whole time. When Poppy finally jumped off my lap, the baby started kicking so hard that you could see my belly jumping about in all different directions. I think the baby was wondering where the lovely, warm, purry thing had gone and was looking for it.

We still haven't got to the bottom of my wonky heart, but the doctor has reassured me I'm not about to drop down dead from a heart attack, not imminently anyway. It might be caused by (look away if you are squeamish) my diaphragm being pushed up so much by the baby that it is literally rubbing against my heart and irritating it (eugh!) but it could be something else, so I am having to go for blood tests etc. next week. Pregnancy is making me so aware of all the amazing things bodies do every single day, which is very fun and interesting...until your heart packs in. Ha!

Anyway, I had better go and make a start on this tidying. If I don't do it, I know I will wake up at 5am tomorrow to find my mum on her hands and knees scrubbing our kitchen floor and cleaning behind the cooker. If you've read right to the end of this post, I hope you have a lovely weekend. You've earned it!

now really is the winter of our discount tents

2011-09-22T09:28:00.002+01:00

I don't know what the weather has been like where you are, but here in Glasgow it definitely feels as though winter has got its toes firmly under the table. Brrrr! So it felt like a good time to relist these cards in my etsy shop. There's nothing like a spot of handwritten mail to warm the cockles of the heart... except maybe some central heating, a hot water bottle, a big blanket or a night spent sitting by the fire, naturally.

punto cruz - for you to use

2011-09-18T12:16:00.007+01:00

When I was in Aberfeldy with my parents last month, I picked up this ancient and fusty-smelling booklet of patterns from Peru in an antique shop for a bargainous 50p. The colours and some of the images are amazing. I'm guessing the most obvious use for them would be cross-stitch (I think that is what "punto cruz" translates as) but I also think they'd make the most fantastic beading designs. One of the craft books that Marceline very kindly sent me during her great spring clear-out of 2011 had some very good beading instructions, if I remember rightly, so I might give that a try some day, even though it is not on the Craftathon 2011 list. Coincidentally, Marceline has just mentioned on her blog that she's planning to pursue various grid-based projects over the coming months, so you'd probably get a few more ideas of how to use these patterns over on her blog.

Anyway, I'm happy for you to use these designs in your own projects. You should be able to click on the images to see a larger version. Make sure you leave a comment to let me know if you do use them because I'd love to see the finished results! I've divided the images into vaguely themed sections. Enjoy :)

PEOPLE

BORDERS

ER, MISCELLANEOUS

MY FAVOURITE TWO PAGES

in which I leave the house for reasons other than work

2011-09-18T11:13:00.005+01:00

Yesterday Graham and I went out for a day's charity shopping and, for the second time in a row (and ever, probably) I didn't buy a single thing. This time I didn't even see anything that tempted me. What is going on? However, I still had a really good day, one of the highlights being a visit to Govanhill Baths as part of Doors Open weekend.

The paint was peeling off the ceiling in a very dramatic style.

This is the ceiling in the room with the baths. The pool is reopening quite soon in three stages. I think they said it would be completely up and running in four years' time. They're not going to have baths (I mean bath baths, not swimming pool baths) any more and this bit is going to get turned into some sort of garden to begin with to grow fruit and vegetables to use in the cafe they'll have downstairs, then later on the garden will move to the roof and this space will be used for health workshops and other community-type events.

Round windows always look good, even if they are a bit broken.

This is the medium-sized of the three pools in the building, known as the ladies' pond. Our tour guide was saying they need to change the height of the cubicle doors as ladies are taller these days. I had to chuckle, imagining all the boobies jiggling about over the tops of the doors.

The tiles were still in really good condition mostly and it's a listed building, so I guess they'll be trying to preserve as much as possible.

Our plan for the weekend was to see a few more Doors Open buildings today, but my hips have given up the ghost from all the walking about yesterday (my midwife reckons I have sciatica and that this is also what's giving me a bad back) so we are just going to go to the cinema instead. Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy is showing at the cinema just down the road, so we'll probably go and see that. I'm sure it will be good. This will be our third cinema trip in five days - we're really packing them in before the baby arrives! I haven't been doing very well in my ambition to start watching pleasant films, but I have enjoyed the gruesome and grim films we've watched this week. Mind you, it is kind of strange to feel a baby wriggling about inside you as you watch someone get their head smashed in with a hammer... Incidentally, on our way to the cinema the other night, Graham found a £20 note lying on the pavement. This paid for our tickets and left us with enough change to buy an ice cream each. Having ice cream in a big multi-screen cinema was a very novel experience for us and getting it for free was even more fun. Hooray!

other people's weekends

2011-09-12T10:02:00.004+01:00

I don't have too much news to share from the last couple of weekends, one of which I spent working and the other of which I spent extreme resting and seeking medical help, so I thought I would show you some evidence of Graham's weekends instead. Last weekend he appeared back from his cycle with this great sewing box under his arm. Somebody on the other side of Glasgow had been throwing it out and, eagle-eyed man that he is, he rescued it from the pile of rubbish on the street and brought it home because he thought I might like it. He was right, I do! And it's yet more incentive to get the craft room organised, something I had intended to tackle this weekend, but failed to do. The sewing box needs a little repair done to the handle (just a screw that's come loose on one side) and a clean then it will be ready to come in handy. I wonder how much of the craft room I could fit into my two sewing boxes... Probably quite a lot of it if I was ruthless.

This weekend Graham was helping his mum and dad to sort out his gran's flat because she went into a home recently. He came home with this really cute box of candles to show me. On the other side, his gran has written "14" above the 24 and there are indeed 14 candles left. That is the level of organisation that I aspire to! The candles are very small and skinny and are a mixture of pale blue, pale pink and white. I wonder how old they are and who the first ten were used for.

On his way to his mum and dad's, Graham had to pass through Govan. As soon as he set foot outside the underground station, a slightly dodgy-looking couple shouted for him to come over. He was a bit unsure, but since they had a baby with them, he figured it should be safe enough. It turned out they had just come from their baby's christening and wanted to give Graham this little bag with two biscuits and two pound coins in it because he was the first man they had seen after the christening. Apparently this is traditional. We had never heard of it before, but Graham's mum says she remembers people doing that in the good old days.

This weekend I had to go to the out of hours doctor because my back was in bleedin' agony and it was suspected that I might have had a urinary tract infection, which you're apparently meant to get sorted out quick stylee if you're pregnant. Well, the good news is that I didn't have a urinary tract infection (just a bad back, probably from working too many hours last week) but the bad news is that I have a wonky heart instead! Apparently my heart does an extra beat every ten beats or so. The doctor I saw said it was quite likely to be yet another pregnancy side effect (what?! why on earth would that happen?!) and nothing to worry about, but I have to go and see my own GP to get it traced or something. The doctor was surprised I couldn't feel it, but in hindsight I do remember lying in bed the other week and complaining to Graham that my pulse kept doing crazy things. Hmm... Anyway, I spent the rest of Saturday lying on the sofa and my back was much better for it by Sunday, which was good and means it most likely was just a muscular thing, painful for me but harmless for the baby. I took it easy on Sunday too, but in a more sociable way as my friend Kristy came round and we spent the entire afternoon drinking tea and eating biscuits in front of the fire. Lovely :)

But thank goodness for Graham and his leaving the house now and again or we would have had no photos to look at!

FIRE! I mean, mmm, fire...

2011-09-07T13:45:00.004+01:00

This is the third appearance for this photo on this blog, but can you blame me? How cosy! This morning Gary the friendly gas man came and gave our fire a bit of a service since a suspicious flame had been appearing where it shouldn't have been. The fire is now fully operational again, just in time for cosying down for winter. I do wish we'd had a bit more of a summer this year, but I'm still looking forward to the cosiness of winter evenings. I think the cats are too. The last few nights Lola has been lounging in front of the cold dark fire showing off her belly as if she knew what we had planned.

I'm feeling rubbish today, probably just through general lack of sleep and too many late shifts, I think. Today was my day off anyway though, so I cancelled all my plans of exercising and tidying at the drop of a hat and am spending the day on the sofa watching telly and doing a spot of crochet instead. It's definitely helping. Perhaps a little bit of afternoon fire action would help even more. Mmmm!

UPDATE: I spent the afternoon on a cushion in front of the fire with a very happy cat, crocheting and watching The House Of Elliot. Life doesn't get much better than that, right? :)

bear with a sore head

2011-09-06T12:11:00.003+01:00

Care Bears Grumpy Bear Costume by CLASSYCHASSISUK on etsy

I am getting my now monthly migraine and it's making me very much like a bear with a sore head. I am 100% grumpy. Grrr! I am blaming excessive late shifts (combined with pregnancy) for causing these migraines, which I hope I am wrong about since I have practically nothing but late shifts coming up for months. I repeat, grrr!

But it's kind of hard to take grumpiness seriously when fancy dress costumes like this actually exist in real life and are available to buy on etsy. What?! CLASSYCHASSISUK does describe herself as crazy in her profile and, given this evidence, who are we to argue with that? Grumpy Bear was never my favourite Care Bear, so I guess I had better cheer up before I accidentally go the whole hog and actually buy this costume to wear to work. Do you think the moron who makes up my rota might get the message then? Hmmm...

day in the life a.k.a. this tidying is not typical

2011-09-05T07:12:00.008+01:00

DISCLAIMER: What follows is the unedited version of my day (Friday 2nd September, 2011) and the edited version would read, "Eating, tidying, stroking cats, watching a film, bed," so you may not feel the need to read the details...

FAT CATS, ASHAMED TO SHOW THEIR FACES

6.15am: I wake up and carry out my usual 6 am-ish routine. First of all, I lie on my back to torture the baby into moving. Apparently you are meant to avoid lying on your back too much past 16 weeks pregnant, but I need to lie in that position sometimes to take the pressure off my hips, plus just recently it almost guarantees a big kick from the baby, which is still an exciting novelty to feel. Today it works a bit and I get to feel a couple of little kicks before I get up to go to the toilet quite urgently. Once I have been to the toilet, I give the cats about six pieces of dry food each, just enough to stop them pestering me for their breakfast, which they'll get when Graham gets up for work. Six pieces of dry food each sounds rather mean, but they're both still on strict diets. I get back into bed, trying not to wake Graham.

7.40am: Today I haven't managed to get back to sleep, so I'm quite relieved when Graham's alarm goes off and I can stop trying to be quiet/keep the purring cats quiet. I tell Graham about the dream I had last night where we went out for dinner and ended up having two puddings (told you I had a sweet tooth at the moment). Actually, Graham had three really as he had a crepe with custard while waiting for his second pudding, which was orange sponge served with crispy noodles. I had brandy-soaked chocolate sponge with custard.

POPPY IN HER COSY CAVE

8.00am: I get up and have bran flakes with banana for breakfast and start contemplating what to do with my day. I'm thinking some hardcore tidying might be good, but I don't mention this in case I change my mind and it's seen as a promise. I hang out with the cats a bit. Lola is following me around and miaowing quite a lot. Poppy is making a cosy cave for herself under the covers.

8.30am: I email my mum to tell her which weekends I'm going to be off work between now and mid-October because she's thinking of coming to visit. I blog, which is very quick because I actually prepared the blog post yesterday, and find out while catching up on some other people's blogs that today has been designated Day In The Life. I decide blogging as I go would be a good way to do it, so I start composing this post. Lola nudges the computer off my lap so she can sit there instead, so I type at a funny angle until my back gets a bit sore.

9.10am: Graham leaves for work (he's running late today, probably because someone was telling him about all the puddings he ate last night) and I decide to get washed and dressed now, now, now so that I can commence being productive in some way.

THE WORRY-INDUCING GRAPH OF PREGNANCY-RELATED UNPOPULARITY

9.20am: Just before I commence productivity, I have a quick look at google analytics and marvel again at how much my blog readership dwindled when I got pregnant/felt too sick to blog with much enthusiasm. I wonder if I'll ever win these people back or if I've already gone over to the dark side. Every time I see television adverts featuring (shudder!) parents, I am consumed by panic about how much I don't want to be ONE OF THEM. You know what I mean - not that I don't want to be a parent (because that would involve not ever getting to meet this baby) but that I don't want to be a parent-like-that. I hope it's not inevitable and worry that it is. Why else would everyone have stopped reading my blog already? Of course, almost none of the parents I know in real life are parents-like-that, but this is not a rational fear, so I can't be talked out of it that easily.

IF YOU CAN SEE ME THROUGH THE LAYER OF DUST ON THE MIRROR,

I'M SURE YOU'LL AGREE I ACTUALLY LOOK A BIT PREGNANT TODAY

9.30am: Shower, apply moisturiser to stretched areas and get dressed in a pair of maternity trousers my friend gave me. They're about three inches too short, but so comfy and fine for wearing around the house when no-one but the cats is here to see me.

BEDSIDE TABLE (BEFORE)

9.50am: Decide to start the day's productivity by tidying the bedroom. I get a little bit distracted taking the "before" shots to add to this post (most of which I know I'll be too embarrassed to share) but make a huge dent in things straight away just by finding homes on the shelf for the large pile of books that has been gathering (and gathering dust) beside my bed. I realise once again that my books are out of control and fantasise about having a dedicated library (a.k.a. lots of shelves in one place) somewhere in the flat.

WHERE THE BEDROOM BOOKS LIVE (BEFORE)

10.15am: I drink a big glass of water, dry my hair and update this blog post. Lola nudges the computer out of the way and falls asleep on my lap again, so I decide to do a row of crochet since the almost-finished replacement ripple blanket is within arm's reach and I'm quite liking sitting down.

BLANKET IN PROGRESS, ORANGE STRIPE RECENTLY COMPLETED

10.50am: I finish the bright orange stripe and weave in the ends (I'm doing this as I go this time). I could sit here longer, but the colour I need for the next stripe is not within arm's reach and I can't sit here and do nothing (not today) so I move the comfy cat (sorry, Lola) and go back to tidying via a snack of roll and jam from the kitchen. I'm very hungry today.

11.35am: The tidying is still going, but going slowly. However, I am finding lots of things I've been meaning to do for ages and resolve to do them today. I start by emailing Specsavers to arrange to cancel my contact lens subscription since my bathroom cabinet is running out of space with all the lenses I am yet to use. I begin making a pile of other similar bits of paper to tackle. By the end of today, I hope to have filled in the form to renew my passport, filled in the form to renew my driving licence photocard, applied for a Boots Advantage Card/parenting club membership and paid the factor's bill. And that is in addition to all the cleaning and tidying I'm still determined to do. Phew! But will I be true to my word...?

(I'm trying to ratchet up the tension here by adding some suspense, you see. I realise that typing this Day In The Life as I go is making it very long and frankly I can't afford to lose any more readers!)

DIRTY/CLEAN WASHING AND OLD PAINT POTS (BEFORE)

12.05pm: While tidying up the paint pots and rollers from decorating the bathroom (I'm not sure why they were in the bedroom in the first place, let alone why they've been there for months on end) I find the little mini bottles I used to use to store shampoo etc. for taking to the swimming pool. Hooray! The so-called replacements I got were just not as good and I had been looking for these bottles since February. I knew tidying was a good idea :) In other news, I have eaten a square of dark chocolate, paid the factor's bill and filled in the Boots form already, but we still don't know whether I'm going to manage to fill in the passport and driving licence forms, so don't go anywhere!

12.45pm: I find some photos of my eldest niece and nephew from about 3 years ago and decide to phone my sister to see how everyone is doing. I don't phone her very often so I am on the phone for a long time. Lola is pleased about this as it means she gets to sit on me for over an hour.

2.05pm: Off the phone, I plan to make myself some lunch - home-made soup from the freezer and some wholemeal bagels with fake chicken - but get a bit sidetracked by checking my emails. I have one from Graham asking me (for the sake of the unborn child!) not to confront the schoolkids who have been eating their lunch in our garden and leaving ridiculous amounts of litter behind. To be honest, I had forgotten I was planning to have words with them, but maybe it is a good thing that I have missed them. We have a neighbour across the road (who we call Twitchy because we don't know his name and he spends a lot of time looking out from behind his curtains and generally foiling criminal plots) who had a set-to with a teenage ned one day. He ran him out of the street and when the ned swore at him, he laughed in his face and called him "baldy baws" at the top of his voice, much to our amusement and the ned's embarrassment. I'm secretly hoping Twitchy will tackle the litter-leaving teenagers one day so I won't have to.

2.15pm: Make lunch for real and eat it in front of the telly while watching a bit of Three In A Bed. B&B owners all seem very negative/critical if this show is to be believed.

2.50pm: Turf Lola off my lap for about the sixth time today and get back to the tidying, starting with hanging up the second load of washing of the day. I'm very full up.

3.45pm: The buzzer goes. It is the postman. Yes, the postman at 4pm. He brings but one piece of mail... and it is a gas bill. This is about the most interesting mail I have received all month. Sheesh. I'm beginning to flag in the tidying stakes, not helped by the fact that the bedroom doesn't really look any tidier. How can this be? The main difference is that the dust that was attached to surfaces is now flying around the room. Ah well, it keeps the cats entertained and stops them thinking about food for a few minutes. I think I will empty the dishwasher and do some dishes now and return to the bedroom a bit later.

4.40pm: The dishwasher has been emptied (and half refilled) and last night's pans have been washed. The third load of washing has been hung up. The cats have been fed about an hour early, but I couldn't take any more miaowing. I am now officially pooped, maybe too pooped to go out and get the vegetables necessary to make the stir fry I had planned for tonight's dinner. I would quite like to go to bed, but I think I will give the bedroom a pre-hoover hoover just to get rid of the worst of the dust to allow me to tidy some more. Graham will be getting home from work soon and I don't think the flat looks any better than it did when he left. He'll never believe I have good reason to look so tired and sweaty :(

5-8pm: I tidy up the hall a bit, sorting through all the mail and gubbins that has been building over the last few months into a stressful pile of unidentified paper that may or may not need to be followed up. I feel much better to throw out all the junk and deal with what needs to be dealt with. On top of this, I finally begin filling in my passport and driving licence forms... and finish them! Woo hoo! They have been sitting on the kitchen table since May (and the licence form was in the hall for about a year before that) so it feels great to get them done and out of my mental to-do list. Graham comes home from work as I'm filling them in and, seeing my tired expression, volunteers to concoct dinner from stuff in the cupboards/freezer so I don't have to go to the shops or cook. What a star. As he prepares dinner, I give the bedroom a really good hoover and it finally starts to look noticeably cleaner/tidier. I hoover the hall and living room since I am on a roll and then eat the dinner Graham has prepared. He has a shower while I do the dishes then we eat ice cream and watch some athletics while Lola sits on me again.

8.30pm: Graham goes to the shops while I pay the gas bill (I know, on the very day it arrived!) and look online, trying to work out how much tax, NI and student loans I will be paying once I'm on maternity leave, but it is beyond me so I give up for now. I think I might phone the student loans company one day soon to ask how it works. I wonder if there's any more organising I can do from the sofa. I'm well impressed with the progress I've made today. Hopefully I can keep this up and be 10% ready for the baby by Christmas! That would be 9% more ready than I thought was possible when I was lying in bed freaking out last night.

8.45pm: Graham is back from the shops and we put on the DVD lovefilm sent us about a month ago that we haven't managed to find time/evening energy to watch yet, so this is almost like another tick off the mental pile of overdue stuff. The film is Biutiful. It takes a while for me to work out what is going on, but it turns out to be really good, although absolutely horrific in parts. I shed quite a few tears from about two thirds of the way in and by the end am absolutely broken-hearted and sobbing on Graham's shoulder. When the film is over, I am glad to have seen it, but make a request that we start watching happy films for a while. I don't think I can handle films like Biutiful these days. Mind you, I've welled up a few times today thinking about the Irish dancing results in Jig, which we watched last night, so I'm not sure what films I could handle...

11.15pm: I check my emails (made a sale in etsy - hooray!), brush my teeth etc, feed the starving cats and go to bed to read a few pages of my book. I've just started it and can't work out who the characters are or what is going on so am quite glad when Poppy appears and tries to eat said book in her demands for attention.

BEDSIDE TABLE (AFTER)

11.30pm: Lights off. Zzzzz. It feels nice to be going to sleep in a tidier and less dusty bedroom with less jobs/bits of paper preying on my mind.

a few of my favourite things

2011-09-01T11:52:00.008+01:00

This week I have a really sweet tooth and am loving my crochet. This amazing crocheted artwork by Kate Jenkins combines both these loves perfectly. If you are in (or near) London this month, you can make me jealous by going to Kate's Crochet Market, an exhibition/crocheted shop where you can see all sorts of household items in textile form, which opened yesterday and runs until September 24th. Full details and many more pictures if you click on that link.

Maybe you recognise Kate's work? I blogged about her last exhibition and you can see her bottle of Babysew (crocheted Babycham, naturally) hanging behind Alan Carr's head on his chat show.

p.s. Apparently today (which is Friday and not Thursday as Blogger is claiming above!) has been designated Day In The Life day. If you want to take part and share the minutiae of your today in whatever bloggy way you fancy, you can see the principles behind it here on Claire's blog and/or my previous Day In The Life blog posts here and here.

momentous charity shopping

2011-09-01T10:14:00.005+01:00

This Saturday I didn't get called in to work (hooray!) and Graham and I spent the whole day charity shopping (double hooray!) and eating tasty things. Mmmm! Chocolate cherry brownies from Tapa Organic seriously have to be tasted to be believed. Now, I say the charity shopping was momentous and this was because, possibly for the first time ever on a bona fide full day event where our route takes in over 30 charity shops at the last count, I did not buy a single thing. Not a book, not a button, not a book on buttons (and I did see one of these). I was tempted by a few things, but my purse stayed firmly in my bag. Could the nesting instinct be kicking in? I think it was probably in the back of my mind that I have to stop taking home so much fusty-smelling junk to add to my crazy-lady piles of nonsense.

So I didn't buy this amazing wooden eagle sculpture. Graham actually quite liked this one too, so I might even have been able to have it in public view somewhere, but it stayed on the shelf for someone else to find.

This was what really tested my resolve, in the second-last charity shop of the day. Knowing the general pricing policy of the shop it was in, I reckon this would have set me back 20p at the most, but I didn't even ask, even though I thought it would make a lovely addition to my wall of many wonders and the motto is a good one.

Graham, who often comes home empty-handed, actually did quite well, buying three old singles for his jukebox and a keyboard (of the musical, not computing, variety). I still had a very good day. Could this be the new me? Well, I doubt it, but it's a start.

Graham's new(ish) job means his weekends are free now and my work has been strangely Monday-to-Friday over the last few weeks. We've been keeping ourselves busy at the weekends, with numerous cinema trips, wanders, charity shopping and eating out, which has been great. However, when I went back to work on Monday this week, I felt more tired than I had when I finished up on Friday evening, so I'm quite glad that my days off this week are Thursday and Friday and I can spend them all on my own doing nothing in particular. I am really quite exhausted. So far today I have been drinking tea (decaff, of course) and watching TV and catching up on some blog reading. My plans for the rest of the day involve more tea, crochet, cat cuddling, lounging and making a shepherd's pie. I may or may not get dressed and I may or may not wash the pile of dishes/hoover up some cat hair. A proper day off. Hooray!

Everything pregnancy related is going well. I am 21 weeks pregnant now (scarily beyond the halfway point) and feeling quite good. Sickness is a distant memory and while I am still waking up a lot during the night with leg cramps, back ache and sore hips, I am managing to get back to sleep so am no longer like a zombie through the day. I haven't got too much bigger over the last couple of weeks, so am not so scared that I'll have to be cut out of the house by firefighters when the time to give birth arrives. I can definitely, definitely, definitely feel the baby moving around now, which is nicely reassuring. It even likes to kick one of the cats already, so Poppy and the baby have a little fight through my belly most mornings. Since yesterday, I have been able to feel the baby's 11 pm and 6 am movements (its liveliest times) with my hand as well as inside my tummy, although it has refused to kick Graham as yet. I'm sure he'll be able to feel it soon. We had our scarily named foetal anomaly scan this week, which didn't show up any worrying anomalies, so that was a big relief. I was a bit disappointed that the baby was not in a position where we could get a very good look at it and that the sonographer was so stern and in such a hurry. Every time I tried to look at the screen I was told in no uncertain terms to put my head down and to stop being so tense... immediately! So I didn't manage to see the baby's face (or stop being tense) but I did sneak a glimpse of its kidneys and spine. Oh well. The sonographer said that she wouldn't have been able to tell us the sex even if we had wanted to know (we didn't) because the baby was so uncooperative and the mother was so tense, so my fears of seeing something that might give the game away were unfounded. Now, barring any complications, we won't see the baby again until it actually arrives. Exciting! It is all seeming a bit real now - we've gone past the halfway stage, had the final scan and I have begun the process of arranging my maternity leave dates with work. Scary stuff. My main source of stress is the house and all the changes we want to make to it before the baby arrives, and (thanks to its terrible timing of being due in January) that really means before Christmas, which suddenly seems really close. Eep! But overall, everything is good and exciting and I am just enjoying myself and feeling very happy, which is nice. And, despite his frequent attempts, I am still not so baby-brained that Graham is able to beat me at Trivial Pursuit. Champion!

me and beyonce are like that

2011-08-29T20:55:00.006+01:00

Just when you thought I couldn't get any more like Beyonce (or "the fancy lady" as my friend's four-year-old calls her) she goes and announces she's pregnant. I bet we are due on the same day. We are so alike...

EDIT: That lady is so darn fancy that my blog couldn't even handle the original picture I posted! Apologies if you have seen this post appear umpteen times as I tried to fix it. Even the edit facility wouldn't work. Guess it was too busy swooning. See? Fancy, I told you...

the cube defeats max branning

2011-08-25T08:58:00.005+01:00

I am so enjoying Shooting Stars being back on the telly. What a hoot. Have you seen this week's episode yet? The game at the end was hilarious, partly because of Vic and Bob and partly because The Cube is just hilarious in its own right. I love The Cube. I hope it's still on by the time our child is old enough to watch TV. Ah, the ambitions we have for our children, eh? Ha! The Cube really reminds me of classic telly from my childhood. Remember the Adventure Game? The bit that really appealed to me was the grid hovering above space that they had to walk across.

Kerry and I used to play this using the floor tiles in our hallway. I think we had a plant that looked a bit like the plant from the Adventure Game. What was the point of the plant? I can't quite remember.

If you consult my schedule from yesterday, you will see that today's assignment is swimming. I'm a bit tired, though, after the last two days of swimming and cleaning (and working) so I think I'm going to swap today's swimming with tomorrow's crochet and take it a bit easy. Lovely.

a week of symmetrical planning

2011-08-24T09:54:00.002+01:00

I'm working late shifts this week and have a strict plan for my days.

Monday - crochet
Tuesday - swimming
Wednesday - cleaning
Thursday - swimming
Friday - crochet

So it's Wednesday and for some totally inexplicable reason... it's taking me a little longer to get motivated and moving today. Now, I could spend half an hour trying to find the ultimate symmetrical picture to put at the top of this post, but I really do hear the bathroom begging to be made sparkly.

crochet vs knitting - let the battle commence!

2011-08-18T20:51:00.004+01:00

I just bought the pattern for this gorgeous crocheted baby cardigan from the tree bridge on etsy. Isn't it lovely? I hope it's not too hard to make. To my untrained eye it looks kind of achievable.

My baby knitting is going very slowly. Knitting is just not as pick-up-and-put-down-able as crochet, so I never really get the urge just to knit for a few minutes here and there. I'm hoping to make some good progress this weekend though, hopefully even finish the knitted cardigan altogether because I have some urgent crocheting to do. I have a terrible confession to make... I have decided I want to keep the ripple blanket. I am a bad person, I know, but I just don't think anyone else could love it as much as I do and it gives me such a warm and homely feeling just to look at it. I like its oversized stature and hate the thought I could give it to someone who might find it a cumbersome burden. It was the first proper item I ever crocheted and I just don't feel it could ever be topped. So I'm keeping it. Of course, this means my super organisation of making baby gifts five months ahead of schedule has been scuppered and I need to make a last-minute baby gift asap! I think I'm actually going to make a slightly smaller ripple blanket and I'm looking forward to it.

Crochet wins the battle.

(Anybody know of any amazing but easy crochet patterns for baby gubbins?)

weekend away

2011-08-15T09:46:00.006+01:00

We are just back from a very nice weekend away in and around Aberfeldy, land of the creepy shop dummies. My mum and dad had been holidaying there all week and the original plan was that we would join them this weekend to go to the Highland Games. Unfortunately, the Games were cancelled earlier in the week when the rain was really bad and the field they use for them had ducks swimming on it. We still had a lovely time though, just wandering around all the nice little shops, eating cakes and visiting the world's oldest living thing, a 5000-year-old yew tree. We saw the nicest ever toast rack in a little antique shop. I struggled hard to leave it behind and kind of regret it now. It was the same as this one, but in not quite such good condition. I think I should have bought it. Ah well, another £15 for the baby fund.

On Sunday we spent most of the day in Pitlochry, since Graham and I were catching our train home from there. We stumbled across a car boot sale, which turned out to have just one car in it, but Graham still managed to find yet another guitar for his collection and couldn't wait to get home before he tried it out.

We had a delicious lunch at the Moulin Inn, the prettiest little old pub ever. I had been fancying macaroni cheese and chips for weeks and the macaroni I got there was the best macaroni I have ever tasted. Mmm! That's my mum and dad, by the way.

Here are Graham and I squinting in the sun. My bump seemed to turn from a little pot belly to a proper baby bump overnight last week. My mum (who is doing very well at accidental scare-mongering!) thought I looked enormous and helpfully told me that she quadrupled in size when she was between four and five months pregnant. I have only just gone four months and now have the fear about how big I am going to end up. Part of me wants to get the full pregnancy experience and look like a beached whale, but the other part of me is rather worried at how stretched I feel already... Will I really just keep getting bigger for another five months?

I recently had to buy a new swimming suit because my old one is stretched and perished to the point that I worry it will disintegrate in the pool and leave me bare bottomed in public. I bought the new swimming suit from ebay and had decided to try going up another size to accommodate the bump. When it arrived I thought I had better try it on quickly to make sure it fitted me OK, so I slipped it on on top of my underwear with my socks still on and instantly had a flashback to the Roly Polys, incredible tap dancing sensation of the 1980s. With the addition of a hat, I think I could have passed for a member. It's lucky I always wanted to be a Roly Poly really :)

beds are for sleeping in... allegedly

2011-08-12T03:22:00.004+01:00

upcycled television pet bed

Here I am blogging in the middle of the night again. I've been awake for hours already and it's only 3.30am. Gah! Since I left both the cats snoring happily in my side of the bed, it seemed like an appropriate time to share these amazing cat beds I found on etsy yesterday via the favourites of someone in my circle. They're all made by Atomic Attic, whose shop is definitely worth a look as it has all sorts of lovely vintage/handmade/upcycled goodies and not just pet beds.
handmade modern plywood pet bed

This one is pretty stylish and the cat model is the doppelganger of my friend Kristy's cat, Badger.

upcycled vintage blue suitcase cat and dog bed

Aw! I wish my cats slept in a cute vintage suitcase. Unfortunately, they mainly like to sleep wherever I might be, covering me and all our furniture in cat hair and generally making a nuisance of themselves. I have got them cosy little beds in the past, but they were having none of it.
dark grey and yellow upcycled vintage suitcase pet bed

But then we could always get one for the baby, just while it was too little to object/escape. Tee hee! I don't think Atomic Attic are genuinely suggesting you put your baby in their upcycled pet beds, but this picture did make me chuckle... and seriously contemplate a suitcase baby bed, but only for a second, I promise!

In other cat-related news, my sister rehomed all but one of the first litter of kittens tonight/last night. They are keeping the little black and white one, but all the beautiful grey and tabby ones (including my favourite little sandy tabby) have gone off to their new homes. I'd never even met the kittens and feel very sad about this, so goodness knows how sad it was for Kerry and her family to have to say goodbye :( It makes me quite glad I resisted the temptation to let Poppy and Lola have any kittens. I did think about it for a while.

In other baby-related news, I am now (since Tuesday) fairly certain I've been feeling the baby moving, which is pretty exciting. Of course, the panic is already setting in when I haven't felt it move for a while. Yesterday/today I didn't feel anything until after 8pm. I was trying not to worry because the movements are pretty easy to miss, but I was still very relieved to feel it. I am quite determined not to let myself get too hung up on looking out for movement at the moment, and just take it as it comes. This is not really in my nature, but it will do me good to try to change that nature a bit, I reckon. My tendencies towards worrying were one of the main things that put me off having children. I really wasn't sure it would be a good idea for me to have any children at all because I couldn't imagine a single moment for the rest of my life where I wouldn't be worried/scared that something would happen to them. When we decided we would have children, I gave myself a stern talking to and decided I just wouldn't be the worrying type any more. Well, the pregnancy so far has shown me that you can't really just decide not to be the worrying type. I hoped maybe I'd worry less once I could actually feel the baby in there, but the last couple of days have shown me that I'm probably just going to worry even more. Oh well, I'd better get used to it, I suppose!

Something else I'm getting used to is having no shame. I was going into town to meet Graham last night/tonight and had a bit of a funny turn while I was waiting for the underground. I've had quite a few funny/fainting turns since I've been pregnant, but not really since I was around 12-13 weeks. Actually, most of these funny turns have happened while standing on the platform on the underground waiting for my train, although the most spectacular and embarrassing one happened in the middle of Superdrug. I had to get medical assistance (i.e. a seat, a glass of water and lots of kindly reassurance) from the staff, who were so lovely to me. It was quite funny to tell all the staff of Superdrug I was pregnant when I still hadn't even told any of my friends. Anyway, I hadn't had one of these fainty feelings for a good few weeks, but as I was standing on the platform last night, I started feeling very woozy. I knew I would be OK once the train arrived and I could sit down, so I leant against the wall, pressed my face against the cold (and manky) bricks and did lots of heavy breathing and rubbing of my forehead until the lights of the train appeared in the tunnel. By this time my ears were ringing and I could hardly see, but I had my eyes on the prize and I concentrated all my energy into thinking about how soon I would be able to sit down. When I got on the train, however, there was only one seat left and a man nipped past me and plonked himself down in it. The train set off and I had to stand, holding onto the handrail, but my ears were still ringing and I was breaking out in a sweat. More than anything, I didn't want to fall over, especially not on a fast-moving train that would likely send me flying, so I gathered all my energy and shouted over the din of the tracks, to nobody in particular, "I'M SORRY, BUT CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE GIVE ME THEIR SEAT? I FEEL VERY FAINT." And, to his credit, the man who had pinched the last seat from right under my nose jumped up immediately and let me sit down. As predicted, once I sat down I felt much better - no longer fainty, just mortally embarrassed. Roll on the days when the bump is so big that I can just point at it and raise my eyebrows instead of having to shout in public.

BFF pin

2011-08-11T15:59:00.003+01:00

Remember those macrame friendship bracelets we all used to love so much back in the day? Did you have them going halfway up your arm? Did your friends really make them all for you or were you guilty of adding a few of your own creations to your collection? Did you leave them on permanently and hope the bath cleaned them as much as it cleaned you? (It never did.) Don't you wish someone would come up with a slightly more stylish alternative, something that captures the spirit of friendship bracelets without the need to wear increasingly grubby items permanently round your wrist? May I present to you... the BFF pin!

After many months in the pipeline (you can see the beginnings of this idea back in April) I finally finished and listed a new product in my etsy shop. I had great plans for BFF pins to be my next big thing, something I would make and sell in quadruple (ha!) figures. That is not happening. These aren't exactly difficult to make, but they are what I like to refer to as "a faff and a half" and I certainly don't want to be making them in massive numbers, by which I mean more than about five in my lifetime! For now, there is just this little red, white and blue guy listed in my shop along with the promise that I can make you a custom one in different colours if you have your heart set on something specific. I might (might, might, might) make a wee handful of them if (if, if, if) I ever do another market, but I think that is as far as this product will go. It's the sort of thing that needs to be cheap for people to want to buy it, but needs to be expensive to justify the amount of time I spent wrestling (literally) with it. Definitely not a practical money-spinner!

What a craftily productive day I have had today. Hooray!

progress report - weaving part two

2011-08-11T13:40:00.004+01:00

Turns out I'm no good at crafting without purpose, so I made my woven circle into a little brooch. I rather love it! I was thinking of listing it as a one-off in my etsy shop for a bargain price, but I'm going to save it for a certain friend's birthday in a couple of months. I can't guarantee she'll like it, but for some reason it made me think of her, so she will be getting it whether she likes it or not.

This was a most satisfying morning. I think I might make more of these woven circles soon. For now, though, I need to go and do more crafting with purpose, thanks to a wee etsy sale I just made, but I will try to do something less purposeful later in the afternoon.

progress report - weaving

2011-08-11T11:27:00.003+01:00

So far I have spent the morning weaving this little circle. It's been fun. I was a bit limited in my colour palette, but since it's crafting without purpose, I just went with what I had.

And since I had vowed not to do any tidying or organising, I just swept aside some stuff to create a little space to weave in. It would be nice to have clear and calm surroundings, but it would have taken me all day to reach that point and left no time for the crafting.

Mmmm! Weaving is so nice in close up. I think I prefer the simple over-under-over-under and might do the whole circle in that next time. You can see (maybe...) that I did the middle blue stripe and the bottom pink stripe a bit differently, with an over-over-under-over-over-under. I was excited about this (I love a bit of herringbone) but my reaction to the finished stripes are mostly meh.

I know this is meant to be crafting without purpose, but it has given me an idea for my mum's Christmas present. Christmas is causing me a niggling feeling of stress already this year, so I am glad to be having gift ideas in August, whether they come to fruition or not.

I'm going to go and have something to eat just now, then finish off this circle and start some other crafty thing. Hopefully I'll be back with another progress report a bit later.

p.s. I know I already linked to this quite recently, but I used this tutorial/idea for the woven circle patch.

today I craft!

2011-08-11T08:44:00.003+01:00

I feel like I should be going swimming, making/organising stuff for the baby, tidying up etc. today... but I am going to stick two fingers up to all that and spend this very rainy day crafting without purpose! Yee-ha! I will be back later in the day with one or more non-progress reports. The accompanying photos will be either dull or flashed to within an inch of their bleached-out lives (it is actually dark outside today - yeuch) but that won't matter at all. There, I have said it and there's no getting out of it now :)

zzz grr

2011-08-10T04:49:00.001+01:00

Snowy Owl, a photo by Dee Beale on Flickr.

I have officially had it with not being able to sleep. Is this just going to get worse between now and January, when I fear the baby will take after its mother and I will get no sleep at all?

I was not a good baby and cried literally all night every night, to the point where my mum and I were hospitalised. The nurses told my mum to go to sleep and said they would look after me, obviously believing they had the magic touch that my mum apparently lacked. Halfway through the night my mum was woken by an irate doctor who threw me across the room (a crucial fact often mentioned by my mother, who claims she wouldn't have stood for that nowadays) who said I was the worst baby he had ever seen. After that my mum and dad started taking it in turns to sleep in a tent in the garden with my sister so they could escape me.

So I think I was mentally prepared for not being able to sleep once the baby arrived. I was also mentally prepared for not being able to sleep when I was 7-8 months pregnant and the size of a small bungalow. But not to sleep from practically the moment you conceive?! Nobody told me about this!

I was actually having a great sleep tonight (aside from the disturbing dreams and sore hips and back that seem to accompany every pregnant night in bed) until Graham shook me awake at 2am to inform me that I was breathing too loudly. Graham is traditionally the poor sleeper in our relationship and has often woken me like this in the past, which never used to be a problem. Now, though, I can't easily find a different position to lie in because of the sore hip situation and once I am awake... Well, I am awake. Much to the cats' delight (they love any sort of night-time novelty) I have spent the last two hours huddled under a blanket on the sofa, but to no avail. To add insult to injury, I can hear Graham snoring from the bedroom, probably ten times more loudly than the original breathing crime I was accused of. And there is nothing like being awake when you shouldn't be, alone and tired and puky (because bad sleeps lead to the return of baby-induced nausea just when you think you have seen the back of it at last) to make you start doubting your ability to do any of this stuff.

my victorian swimming pool

2011-08-08T08:54:00.004+01:00

I blogged about a morning at my local swimming pool a few months back and was bemoaning not having a photo of the pool itself. I don't know why I didn't think of pinching a publicity shot. This is my pool. Isn't it lovely? You should look at my original post to see the slightly less perfect-looking details, but you've got to take the rough with the smooth and I'd much rather swim somewhere with mouldy ceilings and lovely Victorian features than somewhere without mould or character.

Would you believe I am up too early to go swimming today? I don't know if it's pregnancy itself or the related lack of booze that makes my eyelids ping open at sunrise, but something is causing me to have the sleep patterns of an OAP. It feels very healthy and I quite like it, provided I haven't had to work too late the night before. Actually, my work are so nice that they're letting me make all my late shifts a bit earlier until the baby arrives, so that's not a problem any more. Hooray for sympathetic employers!

Talking of work, today is my first of eight luxurious days off. Yippee! Well, I'm actually on call tomorrow, but hopefully I will have eight luxurious days off. I was unexpectedly off yesterday too, to be honest, but that was thanks to another migraine. (Two migraines in the space of four weeks after eight years without any? The baby is definitely getting the blame for this!) I had a long lie down in the morning and felt much better by lunchtime, well enough to spend the afternoon knitting and feeling guilty for not being at work. There is a new sense of urgency to the knitting though as I just found out that my sister is pregnant too! She's due a month after me. This is very exciting news, but since her other three children all got hand-knits from me when they arrived, there is definite pressure to treat baby number four the same way. I already had the extreme stress caused by being nearly halfway through this pregnancy and having nothing in place for the baby except a ridiculous hat with bunny ears. I don't know what we need to get or do, or really where to begin, but I need to start getting organised soon for my own peace of mind. I'll just get this knitting out of the way first...

Those last two sentences pretty well sum up my frustrating attitude to everything in life. Priorities, Laura, priorities...

reading material

2011-08-03T16:42:00.005+01:00

The one thing I buy more than anything else in charity shops is books. Over the last couple of years most of my reading list has been whatever I happened to find most recently in a charity shop combined with the occasional been-meaning-to-read-it-for-years title and the even more occasional brand new book that I just couldn't wait any longer for. Recently the charity shops have been particularly good to me.

The Animal Lover's Book Of Beastly Murders by Patricia Highsmith (she of Talented Mr Ripley fame) was a recent random purchase from the 25p per paperback section. I started reading it the minute I got it home. It was great and kind of reminded me of Tales Of The Unexpected except that every story was about a different species of animal killing the same species of human (the deserving-of-death type of human). It was a bit repetitive, I suppose, but I quite liked that about it and the types of animal and the methods of death were varied enough to keep it entertaining. Some of the stories were rather disturbing in parts. I am normally a big fan of all things creepy and disturbing, but I do hold this book partly responsible for the high proportion of my dreams that now involve squashed kittens. However, maybe this wouldn't have happened if I wasn't pregnant as I am having numerous nightmares every single night at the moment. Just another one of the many symptoms of pregnancy I was not expecting... But if you are not pregnant or susceptible to nightmares for any other reason, you should read it for sure. If you have recently given birth, you should definitely avoid the story about the rat and don't say I didn't warn you!

Behind The Scenes At The Museum by Kate Atkinson is one of those books that you are almost guaranteed to see in every single charity shop. I can see how that might look like a bad sign, but I do believe that any book you see on every single charity shop shelf (that has not been on the Richard and Judy Book Club or other similar prominent promotion) is there because people have enjoyed/recommended it rather than because they have wanted to get rid of it as soon as they finished reading. Just look at the immense Alexander McCall Smith sections for evidence. After years of all sorts of people telling me how great Behind The Scenes At The Museum was, I finally bought it in Shelter for the grand sum of 80p and finished reading it yesterday. I would have finished it sooner, but had to refrain from reading it at work because it kept making me cry. Again, I think I would have been OK if not pregnant (I cried at the pyrotechnics in the Eurovision Song Contest) so don't let that put you off. I was very proud of myself for working out what was really going on (I won't say more for fear of spoiling it) halfway through the book during one of many recent sleepless nights. It was so satisfying to realise how many little clues had been laid out that all suddenly went click, click, click into place. I was surprised to discover the book was not about a museum either :)

I picked up this very dark and mysterious book ages ago but only got round to reading it recently. I was delighted to find a little surprise hiding between the pages.

This pretty card looked a little bit out of place between pages all about "Lust, Betrayal, Secrets and Murder."

Here's what it said inside. It looks like Auntie Peggy went to a lot of effort to sign her own name at the bottom of this card. It makes me a bit teary eyed to look at. A few years back I did a whole blog post about the forgotten and misplaced things I had found inside books from charity shops. You can find the post here and I think it is well worth a look, even if I do say so myself!

I found this book the same day as The Animal Lover's Book Of Beastly Murders and am so excited about it. Chapter One is entitled The Hulder and Huldrefolk. Eep! You remember The Hulder, right?

Still available from my etsy shop here!

Anyway, enough self-promotion. There was a bookmark left between these pages too, but a proper bookmark this time, with the name and address of a bookshop in Bergen on it, so I think someone must have bought it as a souvenir while they were on holiday. (I went to Bergen once and loved it. I would so like to go back to Norway one day.) This book is so up my street I can hardly believe it, from the subject matter to the woodcut illustrations. I can't wait to read it, but somehow keep getting distracted by novels. I think I'll save this book until I have some uninterrupted time to devote to it rather than read it in bits on underground journeys, plus yesterday I picked up a copy of Tipping The Velvet. It is the only Sarah Waters book I haven't read yet and I am torn between saving it a little bit longer and getting stuck in straightaway. I think the temptation will be too much to resist, so I'll probably start reading it tonight. I love Sarah Waters. She doesn't seem like she'd be my type of author, but once I read Fingersmith (on my sister's recommendation) I knew I would have to read everything else she ever wrote.

Also found (by eagle-eyed friend Bernadette) in the charity shops yesterday - a pair of really nice maternity jeans for £1.99. Hooray! I saw the very same pair in H&M today for £30. Double hooray! I am expanding quite rapidly now so they will come in very handy, I'm sure. Some days I don't seem to grow much and other days I feel like I double in size and my whole torso creaks under the strain. I was actually scared that my bellybutton was going burst the other day. It didn't, but there is plenty of time for that yet... I think I might have felt the baby moving a few times over the last week or so, but I'm not 100% sure yet. If it has been the baby I could feel then it certainly seemed to enjoy (or possibly dislike - it's hard to tell the difference) the new sensation of going swimming this morning! I enjoyed swimming too, but it has left me so tired that I can't actually get out of this chair. Thanks for humouring this overlong blog post, which has kept me both seated and entertained :)

I saw some great stuff today

2011-07-31T19:19:00.003+01:00

Despite spending 99% of the day at work, I saw some great stuff today. These woven patches by Karen Barbe (complete with tutorial) are so pretty and look kind of achievable. I was getting worried about all the unticked items on my Craftathon 2011 list, but I think these would be a brilliant first mini weaving project. I'm very excited about trying them and should add that I found them via whipup. I'm so glad I've been inexplicably saving cereal boxes lately :)

I came across these amazing ojos de dios, or god's eyes as I always called them, through someone in my circle on etsy. They're made by a man called Jay Mohler and you can see his etsy shop (bursting at the seams with beautiful ojos de dios) here.
When I first opened my etsy shop, my friend Jennifer sent me a link to this cartoon by Natalie Dee. Oh, it does make me chuckle, especially since Jennifer and I used to make god's eyes together when we were in the good old Girl Guides. They looked much more like the one in this cartoon than the fabulous one above!
I walked home from work tonight because public transport doesn't exist at times you might need it on a Sunday (bah!) and I couldn't face getting a taxi. It's a bit of a long walk to undertake post-work and pregnant, but my spirits were lifted at a vital moment of exhaustion when I heard beautiful music coming from somewhere within the park. Eventually I spotted a man sheltering from the rain under a tree and playing one of these instruments, which is apparently called a balafon. It made a very lovely sound that almost made me cry, but then I was also in tears at the end of Crocodile Dundee 2 last night... It's me bleedin' hormones, guv'nor!

kitten update

2011-07-30T19:52:00.002+01:00

My sister emailed me the latest pictures of the kittens while I was at work today and I had to wait until I got home before I could see them.
How cute?! I think that one on the left here is my favourite, but it is a tough choice.
My parents are visiting my sister at the moment and my Mum is apparently smitten with the kittens. Can you blame her when four of them sit on her lap at once?
I still think my sister should keep them all. Look at the idyllic kitten home she has created.
Better go - my great big lump of a cat (we wouldn't have her any other way really) wants the computer's position on my lap.

must find mustard! please help!

2011-07-29T13:04:00.005+01:00

I'm sure it will come as no surprise to you that I am planning (or should I say hoping - feeling a little overwhelmed with plans...) to make a ripple blanket for our baby, but I have hit a stumbling block before I have even begun.

I have a very specific colour palette in mind - dark turquoise/teal, dark brown, bright pink (just a little bit) and mustard.
I don't really go in for expensive, super-soft-type wools and tend to use whatever claims it's double knitting and machine washable and doesn't cost a lot of money. I think I usually end up using acrylic stuff, but I'm not very good at paying attention to labels.
I know I can get the blue, brown and pink wool that I'm looking for easily, but try as I might I can't find the right shade of mustard anywhere.
It needs to be a nice, rich mustard, something not too yellow, but different enough from the brown to be a real contrast.
Looking through old blog posts (where all these images came from) I can see that mustard is very important to me.
Anybody got any top tips of where I can find a few balls of cheap double knitting acrylic-type stuff in an amazing shade of mustard so that I can start crocheting? My own trawling of the shops/internet has not been successful so far.
Thank you!

when hands come in handy

2011-07-26T09:17:00.002+01:00

Some scenes from this weekend, modelled by my hands. Firstly, Graham found peas in the supermarket for me! Woo hoo! I have eaten more than is probably healthy. Yum.

I also finished the bunny ear hat. I think it looks a bit big for a newborn (said hopefully, knowing where that head is meant to go before it goes in this hat...) so I am glad I didn't go for the 0-3 months size in the end. Actually, this is the third time I've made this hat and every time it has come out slightly larger than anticipated, so I should have known. I am not a swatch maker, I just knit blindly. Still, better too big than too small. Now I need to knit a black cardigan to match so that our baby can look like this rabbit. Well, like the human version of that rabbit. I'm getting rather superstitious, careful what you wish for etc. Too much time spent reading fairy tales and watching Jim Henson's Storyteller as a child!

Better run - I need to leave for work in about 90 seconds.

monkey business

2011-07-23T07:33:00.002+01:00

Birthday Monkey, a photo by mooosh ♥ miso funky on Flickr.

Recently I've been hearing some strange noises coming from somewhere on the street outside our house. I usually hear them after dark and assumed it was a wily fox up to no good. But this morning I am sitting in the living room in broad daylight (unable to sleep past 5.30am as usual) and I heard the screaming chatter more noisily than ever. It actually sounds like a monkey species, and not the sort of friendly monkey species who might get a job as a yellow coat either. I feel like I'm in the jungle. While I was contemplating the thought of vicious monkeys on the street outside (I am not a monkey fan at all) something jumped into the tree branches right outside the window and started rocking the whole tree. Eep! I suspect this was the squirrel that sometimes stops by to torment the cats, but it still gave me a terrible fright. I'll be looking out for beady eyes, wrinkly fingers, yellow fangs and bared gums next time I leave the house. Shudder!

I wonder if the mysterious night-time garden visitor from a few months back was also of the ape variety, maybe a gorilla or an orangutan... Oh no! What a horrible thought!

satisfying segmentation of sewing supplies

2011-07-22T17:29:00.003+01:00

For the longest time, my embroidery threads have been in a state of tangled disarray inside a little sewing basket. I couldn't see what colours I had or select a thread very easily. You will have to take my word for the horror because I couldn't find my camera the other day to take a before photo. What with the impending arrival, I need to clear up (clear out? eep!) my craft room so that it can become even more multipurpose. As well as its current dual purpose of crafting and cats' toileting, I think it will need to accommodate Graham (yes, a boy and his gadgets in my lovely girly room!) and a spare bed and various other gubbins. Obviously we will remove the cats' toilet if anyone needs to use the spare bed...

Anyway, this brings me on to this item of great loveliness that I've been meaning to blog about for over a year. My mum and dad got me this beautiful old sewing box (with a few lovely old things and family sewing heirlooms in it) for my 30th birthday. My new aim is to fit pretty much all my sewing accoutrements in this one box. I think with a little bit of planning (and some getting rid of things I don't really need) it could comfortably house all my basic sewing supplies plus some lovely extras. This would mean I could use and enjoy the beautiful sewing box even more and save a whole heap of space in the craft room. I'd also stand a better chance of finding things.

I'll try to share more of the box's loveliness (including the story behind my granny's stitch-picker) at some other point when there's more light for photos and more energy in my brain. In the meantime, here's the little sticker that's inside the lid. For some reason, the fact the box is Norwegian makes me love it all the more.

Would you look how perfectly my bobbins of embroidery thread fit in the top level of the box? It was obviously meant to be. Most satisfying :)

black and white baby

2011-07-17T15:04:00.005+01:00

I've been up since 6.30am today, but thought I would make use of the morning by starting that knitting project I mentioned the other day. I'm making a baby hat with very cute rabbit ears on it, but controversially I am knitting it in black. Yes, black for a baby. I don't think I would ever use black to knit for anyone else's baby, but since this is for my baby, I know the mother won't be offended. Yes, I did say my baby. I am pregnant, 14 and a half weeks pregnant to be exact.

And here is the baby in question. Even I will admit it has a slightly alien face at the moment, but other than that it is very lovely. Well, Graham and I think so, at least :) We got this scan done a couple of weeks ago and it was truly amazing. We had to have a scan quite early on when the baby was just a jellybean with a heartbeat and even though I had been reading up on the baby's development week by week and knew it would be looking more like a human by now, I was still completely gobsmacked to see an actual person in there with ten fingers and perfectly formed feet. It literally went from jellybean to human in just five weeks! I'd also imagined the baby just kind of floating about in there, but it was moving about all over the place and even had the hiccups at one point. Now I like to imagine what the baby is up to when no-one is watching. I'm really looking forward to being able to feel it move and, yes, you can quote me on that when I am moaning about it kicking me and keeping me awake at night!

So it's all been very exciting. We found out I was pregnant while we were away in Scarborough and watched the pregnancy test turn positive in our room in the Grand Hotel. Since then, my plans for nine months of extreme tidying and organising have been scuppered by the fact that I've pretty much been puking and napping and that is it. I totally underestimated morning sickness and was ill 24/7 for about 7 weeks solid. You can actually track my pregnancy woes via this blog. The moment I went from blogging 20-odd times a month to next to never was the moment I started feeling ill. Over the last couple of weeks I've been feeling a bit better and, lo and behold, normal blogging service has almost been resumed! During these weeks/months I also developed an unfortunate association between quilling and vomiting, so that little project is still in its half-finished state as a result! Anyway, as I said, the worst of the puking seems to be in the past. I'm still a bit squeamish some days, but am enjoying having other days where I feel close to normal, and I'm hopeful that the fabled glowing will start soon!

We had only told a handful of people that we were expecting a baby before we got our 12 week scan, so it's been really nice sharing the news over the last couple of weeks. The future grandparents are especially delighted. We told my dad on his 60th birthday, which also took the pressure off in terms of finding the perfect present! Ha! Graham is telling the last person who might possibly have read it on my blog this afternoon, so I am safe to share it here now. I think. I haven't told anyone at work yet except my manager (who seemed genuinely delighted, which I thought was a really lovely reaction to someone essentially saying they'd be buggering off on maternity leave) and have been cruelly experimenting on my other colleagues to see who will be brave enough to be the first to ask whether I am pregnant or just fat. Mwahahaha! My belly was getting a few suspicious glances last weekend, but no outright questioning yet. Claire, if you're reading this, mum's the word! I know, so not funny... Just be grateful I'm not sharing the terrible joke about constipation that's running through my mind. I mention constipation only because so far it seems to be about the only side effect of pregnancy that I haven't had, touch wood. Or should I say touch cotton? Sorry, I just couldn't resist it. Actually, one of my workmates did have me sussed ages ago because of my sudden and excessive consumption of Heinz tomato soup. I was very impressed by her Columbo-esque deduction, but it was kind of early days, so I lied. Badly.

I've decided to keep the wonky granny square blanket for our own baby, partly because it's wonky, but mainly because I really like it. I should say it didn't look quite this wonky before I bundled it up in a bag to keep it out of harm's way.

The good thing about making blankets for my own baby is that I don't have to worry so much about the cats standing on it when I'm trying to take photos. Paws on a blanket will be the least of this baby's cat-related worries, I'm sure!

Yes, so it's happy times in our household. The stress/anxiety is beginning to niggle at the back of my mind now (a few too many knowingly raised eyebrows and "You don't know what you're letting yourselves in for"s for my liking) but I'm trying to cling on to the excitement of the whole situation and just focus on the many, many positives. I do know it's going to be hard, but I also think it's going to be amazing and fun and happy and I'm really delighted at the thought of doing this with Graham (who has already proved his dad credentials by taking care of me/the house/the cats in times of puking) and at the thought of us becoming a little family all of our own. I'm also really excited to find out just who is hiding in my belly. So far all we know is that it's a baby and that it gets the hiccups. There could be literally anyone in there!

sobbing in the cinema on a saturday

2011-07-16T20:45:00.007+01:00

Graham and I had been planning some sort of elaborate day out today, but the crazily changeable weather scuppered that plan, so we went to the cinema for an afternoon movie instead. Semi-randomly we went to see a Turkish film called Bal at the GFT. It was such a good film, very quiet and beautiful. As soon as I saw the little boy who was the main actor I knew the film was probably going to tug on my heartstrings at some point. I sniffled quietly for the last half hour of the film, thought I had pulled myself together and then had to be consoled by Graham as I sobbed on his shoulder once the lights went up. It was such a sweet and sad film and one that I would definitely recommend going to see if you are not as much of a softie as I am. If you're in Glasgow, it's on at the GFT until Thursday at least, screening times here.