compromising on matters of the heart

When I got my internal defibrillator fitted, I was advised to get some incredibly ugly and embarrassing medical alert jewellery to wear.  I couldn't bring myself to do that, partly because I don't want my situation out on display 24/7, partly because I am more vain than I probably appear and partly because I just don't do jewellery.  However, in a bid to come to terms with stuff and accept things that I have no control over, I compromised and made this medical alert card for my purse.  I figure that in an unconscious type of emergency situation, passers by or paramedics are as likely to look in my purse as they are to check my body for tacky but useful  items of jewellery.  I do feel a bit safer now.  

I'm not minding my swanky device so much these days.  It can still be a bit sore and uncomfortable at times, but mostly I can forget it's there and I very rarely feel the fear that I might be shocked.  I think I may even be starting to feel a little reassured by its presence.  This is all very positive really, considering I've only had two months to get used to it so far.

I am still a little bit paranoid about it at times, I suppose.  Graham has agreed to go on a first aid course so that he knows how to resuscitate me.  Kind of romantic?!  Ha!  I also get a bit anxious at work since I figure (probability-wise) that I'd be quite likely to be zapped there if I was going to get zapped anywhere.  I decided I wanted to tell the managers and first aiders what the situation was and what to do in an emergency, figuring that was another good compromise - it meant that not everyone would know my freak status but that there would usually be someone around who did.  I wrote a carefully composed email and ran it by my boss, but then I realised who the first aiders were and that one of them was the office's (nay, the world's) biggest gossip and someone I definitely did not want to know my business so I did not send the email.  I decided I would just have a quiet word with a few people who often seem to be in the office when I am, but it's not really the kind of thing that is very easy to bring up in conversation, so I haven't managed to do it yet.  I guess I should.  Once it's done, hopefully I can stop thinking about it.  Being able not to be thinking about this situation (the situation as a whole, not just the device) most of the time is my goal.  I think I might be getting there - very, very slowly, but getting there nonetheless.  I'm pretty sure I've had some 15-minute spells of not considering my impending doom lately, which is a big improvement and makes it slightly easier to stay on the right side of sanity!

Hey, my medical alert card co-ordinates perfectly with my red purse.  Don't presume these things happen by accident, people! :)

sewing BEE (see what I did there?)

I think I have mentioned in passing a few times that I was planning to make a couple of outfits for Dulcie?  Well, here is the lovely fabric that I bought for the project.  It's not like I needed fabric (God knows I have enough vintage sheets etc to clothe that girl for life!) but once I saw these in Mandors, I just had to have them.

Look at these bees!  Even though I knew such an obvious and directional pattern would make the already daunting task at hand that bit trickier, there was no way I could have left this fabric behind.

 And this one is just so pretty and of a time that I love.  It looks a bit washed out here (I took these photos on my phone for ease of blogging from my parents' house) but is a gorgeous deep, dull green in real life.

 This is the pattern I'm using.  I'm going to make the romper suit (top middle) from the bee fabric.  If it turns out insanely wonderful, I'll probably make the same from the green fabric because I think that would make a cute romper too, but the original plan was to use the green to make the dress (bottom right) so I may still stick to that.

Because I might want to use this pattern again when Dulcie is a bit bigger, I thought I should trace the pattern pieces rather than cut them straight out.  Of course, this is really just another added stage where things could go wrong...  I traced most of the pieces yesterday, until I ran out of greaseproof paper.  Hopefully I'll finish that and cut out the fabric pieces today.  I'm so scared about cutting into the fabric, but I keep telling myself to calm the heck down.  Really, what is the worst that could happen?  If I make a hideous mistake, I can always use the fabric for some other smaller projects and, if the worst came to the worst, I could buy more - that's where new fabric has the edge over vintage/recycled, I guess.  My hope is that if I have the pieces all cut out before I get back to Glasgow then I'll be far more likely to make a start on this before summer is over.  I've never sewed clothes from a proper pattern before and really have no idea what I'm doing, but I'm hoping this project will be the start of something and may leave me brave enough to attempt making something for myself to wear.  Wish me luck!

UPDATE:  It's now Thursday evening and I have cut out all the pieces of fabric for the bee romper suit and have marked on whatever I need to, ready to start sewing when I get back to Glasgow.

Some great things:
1) I have a fair amount of the lovely fabric left over - hurrah! - and a little project in mind for it.
2) Now that all the pieces are ready to go, the challenge seems totally achievable.  I've read through the instructions and (famous last words) the assembly looks more straightforward than some of the soft toys I have made in the past.  Maybe I can do this?!
3) I'm getting very excited at the thought of having achieved my clothes-making goal at last.  I've wanted to do this for years!

A dose of reality:
1) I'm getting ahead of myself here and there is still scope for things to go wrong.
2) I'm not sure when I'll get round to doing the assembly - it's much easier here in Elgin where I have people on hand to distract Dulcie and big, clean spaces to work in.
3) I am petrified this isn't going to fit Dulcie and I will have to find someone smaller to give it away to and then I will actually cry.

Oooh!  Exciting!  Watch this space!

life in the '80s

 Now that Graham has returned to Glasgow to guard the homestead, I can reveal that Dulcie and I are away on holiday at my parents' house.  Last night I found these photos and thought they might be of interest to the general populace.  They are very random snaps, but they made me laugh.  Oh, life in the '80s...

Check out the shining examples of technology in that top picture!  That's my slimline dad on his slimline computer and my sister demonstrating just how user-unfriendly hoovers were back in those days.

 This picture is from a school Halloween party some time in the mid '80s.  The scary trampy clown person is my dad, I'm pretty sure (I don't think headteachers could get away with such disturbing costumes these days) but it's the tiny werewolf in the background that tickles my fancy.  I had hoped this was the Halloween party where Janice dressed as a mummy and couldn't eat the doughrings because her mouth was covered in toilet roll bandages (photos of that party had been requested!) but apparently my dad dressed as the slightly less terrifying John Darling at that, so this must have been some other year.

And here is a picture of me from spring 1982, just a wee bit older than Dulcie is now.  Well, about six months older, which I suppose is quite a big difference at that age.  I did think, initially, that there was zero resemblance between us, but on closer inspection I realise that I have seen Dulcie make that same funny expression with her mouth.  That's my sister again in the background again. I'm being very kind and am resisting posting a picture of her around a decade later in the world's most terrible outfit with the world's most terrible haircut (the double whammy!) because I am kind like that.  I did email it round a few people though - ha!

she thinks she can wink

Back with another video, lazy blogger that I am.  I filmed this quite a few weeks back, when Dulcie first learned to "wink".  You can tell my mum trained her - she winks with both eyes at once too!

little washer girl

Here's a video of Dulcie loading up the tumble dryer, having just emptied the washing machine.  Dulcie loves to "help" these days.  Would you believe she was roling on the floor in angry tears just a few minutes before this video was shot?  Housework is a great distractor.  (It can also work for me sometimes!)  The video is over two minutes long and not a lot happens, so it is perhaps just one for the die-hard Dulcie fans ;)

poor man's ET?

Recently, Dulcie has developed a bit of a thing for choosing her own clothes and will often insist on wearing something other than what we have picked out for her.  Sometimes this results in surprisingly good looks, but other times... Well, not so much!  When I was getting her ready to go out one day last week, she spotted her old jacket, now a bit on the small side, and was determined that she would wear it as opposed to any of the outdoor gear that actually fits her.  I helped her SQUEEZE into it and my dad managed to snap this photo.  Too funny.  I can't believe I actually let her go out like this.  I think she looks like a cross between a poor wee soul (with no neck) and ET.  What a face!

33

 It's my birthday today!  Hooray!  Despite starting the day off in hospital (just a scheduled check-up, nothing too drastic) I've had a lovely day.  My presents were small in quantity and high in quality, just the way I like them.

My mum and dad gave me this amazing vintage musical card (as well as a gorgeous vintage fabric print) which I love, love, love.

Here's a little video of it in action.  I love the sound it makes, totally adorable.

Mail was pretty thin on the ground today (as it has been in general of late) but, in a coincidence of perfect timing, the embroidery I'd treated myself to on etsy arrived.  I was a little nervous opening it for fear I wouldn't love it as much as I had expected, but it was even nicer in real life and I love it even more than I thought I would. Yay!

The rest of the day was spent hanging out with Graham and Dulcie (a rare treat in itself) going round the charity shops and out for lunch.  For tonight, we're hoping Dulcie might go to bed at a reasonable hour as we have cava and lots of cheese in the fridge.  Mmmmm!  All in all, a pretty happy birthday :)