first anniversary

One year ago today, Dulcie and I met for the very first time.  Her birthday (Saturday) seems like such a long time ago already.  I can't believe they made me wait that long to see her!  No wonder I was such a wreck.  I remember the ambulance ride to her hospital seemed to take for ever.

Dulcie was off the ventilator by then but was still getting a bit of help breathing through this little mask. We still have the wee nose piece and it is so tiny!

And just look at her now.  She is such a wee smasher.  Do you know she has started to applaud good answers on Pointless?  That's my girl!

I hope you'll all forgive my nostalgia.  I never got to blog about Dulcie's arrival at the time (not until well after the fact) so I figure it's OK to revisit it now.  I'll try to think of something more topical to say soon.

ten, eleven, twelve

So, as I said, Saturday was Dulcie's first birthday.  One year earlier, she was on a ventilator, the tiniest thing I had ever seen, or not seen at that point.  I was busy having morphine-induced dreams in intensive care while she was being transferred by ambulance to neonatal intensive care.  When I came round, I was left looking at a photo on our camera of a random baby with a pink hat pulled over most of her face until the webcam with her hospital was set up and I could watch her pixelated and tube-covered self that way.  I still hate to think about that time (the anniversary of it all has been tricky) but just look at our shining girl now!  Hasn't she done a great job of growing up?!  I bought her party frock on my birthday back in May, putting it away for a later date, and fortunately remembered about it the day before her birthday.  It fit her perfectly, like it was made to be her first-birthday outfit, and she was very cute and happy in it all day.

We had a bit of a balloon overdose as I had taken some with me and my mum had provided some too.  Dulcie's cousins decided we should just blow them all up anyway, which turned out to be a very good idea as they provided lots of entertainment all day.  Dulcie and Elsie both kept grabbing balloons and sucking the knot frantically.  My theory is that they thought they were surrounded by giant, colourful boobs.  Maybe they were hoping for some exotically flavoured milk?  Amazingly, neither of them suffered a balloon bursting in their faces.  Phew.

I think I have already mentioned Dulcie's love for The Very Hungry Caterpillar?  I also liked the idea of her having a cupcake all to herself, so the two ideas kind of came together and produced this very homemade monstrosity.  Carrot cupcakes (this recipe with added sultanas - v yummy!) made up the body, liquorice for legs and antennae, Delia's all-in-one sponge for the head.  My mum and sister had offered to make the cake, but I wanted to do it myself, although by the time I got off the train from Glasgow it was really the last thing I felt like doing.  I'm glad I did though (the first baking I had done in ages) and I actually love how unprofessional he turned out.

My sister found an old, worn-out copy of The Very Hungry Caterpillar at the local dump and cut it up to make these decorations for my mum's sideboard.  Dulcie was delighted with them, although apparently my nephew Angus was in tears during the cutting up of the book.  Aw!

Dulcie's cousins also made these caterpillar-themed snacks for the birthday spread.

Green apples, Babybel and a little bit of liquorice.  My sister got the idea from here.

Here's Dulcie blowing out her candle (with a bit of assistance).

When she reached out to grab a cake, she looked round, waiting for someone to tell her she wasn't allowed... then swiftly helped herself to two!

Here she is enjoying her first taste of sugar.

And just to prove it wasn't all about the sweet stuff, here's a picture of her happy little pakora face.

As well as my side of the family, Dulcie's Auntie Dee Dee (Graham's sister, Laura) came to represent the paternal side.  Reprezent, Auntie Dee Dee!  Dulcie was loving all the attention and all the people to play with.

Presents were a big hit too, although Dulcie's cousins (who were helping her open parcels) were probably even more excited than she was.  I finished her pointy kitty just in time for the big day.

Dulcie absolutely loved every single one of her presents and I was pleased the pointy kitty managed to hold her own amidst all the bright colours and loud noises.  Since coming home, the pointy kitty has been kind of neglected in favour of her Fisher Price farm and talking dog, but I'm confident she'll love this cat in the long term.

Dulcie developed this new brand of cheesy grin over the course of the day.  I honestly don't think she stopped smiling from the moment she got up until she finally (finally!) fell asleep.  Oh, it was such a lovely day.  I kind of thought first birthday parties were for the guests more than the birthday baby, but Dulcie definitely knew something special was happening and she just loved every minute of it.

And I managed not to burst into tears once... or not when anyone was looking, at least.  Go me!

busy, busy

It's been a busy (and emotional) week round these parts with lots going on, good and bad.  The main event has been this little ukulele player turning one year old this weekend.  Wowsers!  We travelled up north to my parents' for the big event.  I have lots of photos to share, but they'll need to wait until another day.  Man oh man, babies can be so demanding...

dad days

 Weekends are dad days for Dulcie.

 Dads provide things that mums don't, namely anything that might cause serious damage to self/property like flinging flashing toys round your head until a bit flies off.  Ah well, Dulcie enjoyed it.

In our household musical education is also a paternal responsibility.  Graham wants Dulcie to be a drummer when she grows up, but it couldn't do any harm for her to play the bass too.  I'm not sure whether Dulcie is naturally drawn to musical instruments or whether Graham's encouraging is taking effect already, but she really does seem to love anything she can use to make a noise.

I'm glad Dulcie enjoys time with her dad at the weekend because pretty soon I'll be back at work and it'll be just the two of them for two long days at a time (and a few evenings).  I'm sure Dulcie will be OK... but will her dad?!

on a sunday afternoon

 It's Dulcie's first birthday on Saturday (unbelievable) and I really want to give her a handmade gift.  With Dulcie's particular brand of 24/7 clinginess that she's been rocking over the last month or two, it's been pretty much impossible to find the time to make a start on anything for her, but today, in a last-ditch attempt, Graham took her out for a walk so that I could get peace to try to make her present.  This was the scene  this afternoon as I brought the sewing machine into the kitchen and stitched away while listening to Jarvis Cocker.

I had made a good start on Dulcie's gift by the time she got back, but then it all went wrong and the seams started to split as I was stuffing it.  I did a swift repair job, but am most unhappy about the situation as I want her present to be special and maybe not perfect but certainly not botched.  Hopefully I find the time to finish it this week at least.

I'm not sure if maybe all mums feel a bit sad when their babies turn one, but given what happened when she was born, I am finding it hard to separate Dulcie's birthday from the anniversary of when my life turned into a big pile of shit.  I think I'd feel a lot better about it all if I had managed not to mess up her present :(

halloween 2012... in pictures!

 I know some readers were disappointed that my six-year-old self didn't have the foresight to document my sister's Halloween party in 1986 by taking photos, so I thought I should share these pictures of Halloween 2012 so that we can all look back on them in 26 years.

Dulcie and I were in Elgin for the week visiting my parents and my sister and her family who are visiting from France for a couple of weeks.  Elsie and Dulcie wore their matching Halloween tops for most of the day, looking very cute and a bit spooky, doing things in unison more often than seemed likely.  That's my eldest niece Kim holding up Elsie and my sister restraining Dulcie, who was just desperate to walk to me (behind the camera).

 We went to the park in my mum and dad's street and discovered that this suitably spooky new cobweb-esque swing had been installed.  From left to right here we have Kim, Angus and Ruth, making up 75% of Dulcie's French cousins all in one photo.

Ruth wasn't up for letting me push her high, but Kim and Angus hung on for dear life and pretended to be Fred and Daphne from Scooby Doo, bless them.

In the evening Dulcie and Elsie changed out of their matching "I love my mummy" tops and into... matching witch outfits!  We were having a Halloween party complete with spooky snacks and games.  Fortunately my mum (with a bit of help from the local charity shop) had provided costumes for everyone under the age of eight.

 The obligatory dooking for apples.

 Eating sugar-covered doughnuts from string.  Elsie, who's only been on solids for about ten weeks, managed to position herself perfectly to catch a huge piece of falling doughnut and had crammed it in her mouth and swallowed it down before anyone could stop her.  We can only imagine what that sugar rush must have been like.

This game involved hunting for spiders and witches' body parts in a pan of cold spaghetti.  There were plastic spiders and fingers, lychees for eyeballs and raw bacon (yes, raw bacon, the sort of thing only a grandparent could think of!) cut into the shape of tongues.  The severed hand at the bottom of the picture there was an added bonus and was made from a latex glove filled with jelly.

My dad disappeared at one point and rang the doorbell wearing this monstrous fancy dress outfit.  I could barely even look at him (talk about heebie jeebies!) so of course the children were all terrified and much screaming and sobbing ensued.

Possibly the creepiest part of the outfit were the feet with gloves instead of socks providing red, gnarly toes at hideously protruding angles.

Ah, my father...  No wonder I grew up with issues.

And so concludes my pictorial report of Halloween 2012.  I will look forward to reading this from the future.

happy halloween!

Happy Halloween, everyone!  Dulcie's been getting into the spooky spirit with this "I love my mummy" top, courtesy of her Auntie Kerry.  I hope you all have some spooky fun planned.  We're spending the day with my parents and my sister's family, so hopefully something exciting will be happening, some apple dooking at the very least!  I've never been the best at dooking for apples and always preferred trying to eat a sugary doughnut from a string.  Mmmm!

If you feel so inclined, you can read all about how our family spent Halloween in 1986 here, taken from my sister's diary of the time.  Enjoy!