Tuesday, August 11, 2015

stresss (with a treble s)*

Bridezilla, moi?!  I never thought it would happen to me but it has.  I'm so flippin' stressed - horrendous and constant nausea, inability to think or sleep, SO MUCH TO DO.  Poor Graham is most likely thinking he made a terrible mistake when he agreed to marry me.
This is the week when the final bits of wedding paperwork have to be handed in, so I don't have time to think about food, clothes, decor etc.  The invitations have gone out and all our kind friends and family are stepping up with offers of help, but I can't even tell them what I need them to do and every time someone contacts me I slide deeper into my overwhelmed hole of despair.  Last night my stress levels reached their absolute peak and I narrowly avoided meltdown.  I convinced myself that I had made a mistake that meant the wedding wouldn't be able to go ahead.  Stresss!  Well, this morning I have pulled myself together and made some phone calls and got lots of things sorted and confirmed I haven't destroyed the whole wedding with my ineptitude.  Yet.  I'm still sick with anxiety but am able to have a slightly calmer inner monologue going on, just ticking jobs off the list and looking forward to next week when my to-do list will consist of fun and creative tasks.  It WILL be fun, it WILL be fun...won't it?

Anyway, in the spirit of concentrating on the positive, the postman brought lots of RSVPs today, pictured above.  I printed the RSVP cards with an ice-cream cone and asked the invited people to decorate it with a fantasy ice cream before returning it.  I'm not sure everybody understood as two cones have come back naked (boo) but the ice creams that have reached us are super fun.  I'm going to have so much amazing mail to open over the next couple of weeks.  Yippee!  Also fun has been people's reactions to the invitations, which I spent A LOT of time and effort on.  (I'll share some pics after the fact.)  Yesterday one person described the experience of opening her invite as "Joy upon joy upon joy," which was EXACTLY what I was aiming for.  It made me so happy to hear that and it's nice to be able to remind myself of my successes in wedding planning as I tackle my fears of failure in the field.  I can do this!  I hope...

* "Stresss with a treble S" is taken from this song, which I listened to a lot as a teenager.  The song hasn't particularly stayed with me, except for that expression, which loops around my brain frequently at times like this.

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