secret santa stress

Secret agent stocking by Secret Agents found via Super Cute Kawaii

This year I am taking part in an Indie Secret Santa organised by Miso Funky's Claire.  I should never have done it!  Secret Santas always stress me out in the end, but I convinced myself that this time it would be different, spurred on by the thought of the lovely present I might receive.   Of course Christmas is about giving rather than receiving really (ha!) and I was genuinely excited at the prospect of having an excuse to buy one of the many handmade items I'd been swooning over.  So I blustered ahead and signed up... then panicked and blew it!  My "giftees" (a recently married couple) appeared, after a bit of online snooping, to have very different taste from me with a leaning towards the traditional/chintzy/grown-up side of life.  Not being into that type of thing myself, I was finding it impossible to tell what was good chintz and what was bad chintz so I decided to go for a his 'n' her themed variety package with one central handmade gift purchased from someone else and a few additional items made by me.  When the central item finally arrived (late enough for me to miss the posting deadline - instant stress) I started to doubt its appeal.  Somehow it didn't look as good in real life as it had on screen.  Had I really, faced with infinite options of handmade greatness, purchased something totally crap?  And then when I added the over-familiar items made by me, the package began to look as if I was overcompensating with quantity as opposed to quality.  Claire's horror story of a past Secret Santa using her parcel as an excuse to offload old drawer junk weighed heavily on my mind.  Would it look like that was what I was doing?  Adding my atrocious wrapping skills to the mix, I plodded to the post office with a heavy heart, picturing the lovely couple's crestfallen faces on Christmas morning.  Sigh...  You know what?  I really did try.  I just hope my giftees realise that.  Meanwhile, I have an enticing mystery parcel waiting for me under my own tree.  I just hope the guilt doesn't stop me from enjoying it!

Maybe next year I should take over the organising of the Indie Secret Santa to atone for my failings, counting myself out of all giving and receiving.  And wrapping.