day in the life a.k.a. this tidying is not typical

DISCLAIMER: What follows is the unedited version of my day (Friday 2nd September, 2011) and the edited version would read, "Eating, tidying, stroking cats, watching a film, bed," so you may not feel the need to read the details...

FAT CATS, ASHAMED TO SHOW THEIR FACES

6.15am: I wake up and carry out my usual 6 am-ish routine. First of all, I lie on my back to torture the baby into moving. Apparently you are meant to avoid lying on your back too much past 16 weeks pregnant, but I need to lie in that position sometimes to take the pressure off my hips, plus just recently it almost guarantees a big kick from the baby, which is still an exciting novelty to feel. Today it works a bit and I get to feel a couple of little kicks before I get up to go to the toilet quite urgently. Once I have been to the toilet, I give the cats about six pieces of dry food each, just enough to stop them pestering me for their breakfast, which they'll get when Graham gets up for work. Six pieces of dry food each sounds rather mean, but they're both still on strict diets. I get back into bed, trying not to wake Graham.

7.40am: Today I haven't managed to get back to sleep, so I'm quite relieved when Graham's alarm goes off and I can stop trying to be quiet/keep the purring cats quiet. I tell Graham about the dream I had last night where we went out for dinner and ended up having two puddings (told you I had a sweet tooth at the moment). Actually, Graham had three really as he had a crepe with custard while waiting for his second pudding, which was orange sponge served with crispy noodles. I had brandy-soaked chocolate sponge with custard.

POPPY IN HER COSY CAVE

8.00am: I get up and have bran flakes with banana for breakfast and start contemplating what to do with my day. I'm thinking some hardcore tidying might be good, but I don't mention this in case I change my mind and it's seen as a promise. I hang out with the cats a bit. Lola is following me around and miaowing quite a lot. Poppy is making a cosy cave for herself under the covers.

8.30am: I email my mum to tell her which weekends I'm going to be off work between now and mid-October because she's thinking of coming to visit. I blog, which is very quick because I actually prepared the blog post yesterday, and find out while catching up on some other people's blogs that today has been designated Day In The Life. I decide blogging as I go would be a good way to do it, so I start composing this post. Lola nudges the computer off my lap so she can sit there instead, so I type at a funny angle until my back gets a bit sore.

9.10am: Graham leaves for work (he's running late today, probably because someone was telling him about all the puddings he ate last night) and I decide to get washed and dressed now, now, now so that I can commence being productive in some way.

THE WORRY-INDUCING GRAPH OF PREGNANCY-RELATED UNPOPULARITY

9.20am: Just before I commence productivity, I have a quick look at google analytics and marvel again at how much my blog readership dwindled when I got pregnant/felt too sick to blog with much enthusiasm. I wonder if I'll ever win these people back or if I've already gone over to the dark side. Every time I see television adverts featuring (shudder!) parents, I am consumed by panic about how much I don't want to be ONE OF THEM. You know what I mean - not that I don't want to be a parent (because that would involve not ever getting to meet this baby) but that I don't want to be a parent-like-that. I hope it's not inevitable and worry that it is. Why else would everyone have stopped reading my blog already? Of course, almost none of the parents I know in real life are parents-like-that, but this is not a rational fear, so I can't be talked out of it that easily.

IF YOU CAN SEE ME THROUGH THE LAYER OF DUST ON THE MIRROR,

I'M SURE YOU'LL AGREE I ACTUALLY LOOK A BIT PREGNANT TODAY

9.30am: Shower, apply moisturiser to stretched areas and get dressed in a pair of maternity trousers my friend gave me. They're about three inches too short, but so comfy and fine for wearing around the house when no-one but the cats is here to see me.

BEDSIDE TABLE (BEFORE)

9.50am: Decide to start the day's productivity by tidying the bedroom. I get a little bit distracted taking the "before" shots to add to this post (most of which I know I'll be too embarrassed to share) but make a huge dent in things straight away just by finding homes on the shelf for the large pile of books that has been gathering (and gathering dust) beside my bed. I realise once again that my books are out of control and fantasise about having a dedicated library (a.k.a. lots of shelves in one place) somewhere in the flat.

WHERE THE BEDROOM BOOKS LIVE (BEFORE)

10.15am: I drink a big glass of water, dry my hair and update this blog post. Lola nudges the computer out of the way and falls asleep on my lap again, so I decide to do a row of crochet since the almost-finished replacement ripple blanket is within arm's reach and I'm quite liking sitting down.

BLANKET IN PROGRESS, ORANGE STRIPE RECENTLY COMPLETED

10.50am: I finish the bright orange stripe and weave in the ends (I'm doing this as I go this time). I could sit here longer, but the colour I need for the next stripe is not within arm's reach and I can't sit here and do nothing (not today) so I move the comfy cat (sorry, Lola) and go back to tidying via a snack of roll and jam from the kitchen. I'm very hungry today.

11.35am: The tidying is still going, but going slowly. However, I am finding lots of things I've been meaning to do for ages and resolve to do them today. I start by emailing Specsavers to arrange to cancel my contact lens subscription since my bathroom cabinet is running out of space with all the lenses I am yet to use. I begin making a pile of other similar bits of paper to tackle. By the end of today, I hope to have filled in the form to renew my passport, filled in the form to renew my driving licence photocard, applied for a Boots Advantage Card/parenting club membership and paid the factor's bill. And that is in addition to all the cleaning and tidying I'm still determined to do. Phew! But will I be true to my word...?

(I'm trying to ratchet up the tension here by adding some suspense, you see. I realise that typing this Day In The Life as I go is making it very long and frankly I can't afford to lose any more readers!)

DIRTY/CLEAN WASHING AND OLD PAINT POTS (BEFORE)

12.05pm: While tidying up the paint pots and rollers from decorating the bathroom (I'm not sure why they were in the bedroom in the first place, let alone why they've been there for months on end) I find the little mini bottles I used to use to store shampoo etc. for taking to the swimming pool. Hooray! The so-called replacements I got were just not as good and I had been looking for these bottles since February. I knew tidying was a good idea :) In other news, I have eaten a square of dark chocolate, paid the factor's bill and filled in the Boots form already, but we still don't know whether I'm going to manage to fill in the passport and driving licence forms, so don't go anywhere!

12.45pm: I find some photos of my eldest niece and nephew from about 3 years ago and decide to phone my sister to see how everyone is doing. I don't phone her very often so I am on the phone for a long time. Lola is pleased about this as it means she gets to sit on me for over an hour.

2.05pm: Off the phone, I plan to make myself some lunch - home-made soup from the freezer and some wholemeal bagels with fake chicken - but get a bit sidetracked by checking my emails. I have one from Graham asking me (for the sake of the unborn child!) not to confront the schoolkids who have been eating their lunch in our garden and leaving ridiculous amounts of litter behind. To be honest, I had forgotten I was planning to have words with them, but maybe it is a good thing that I have missed them. We have a neighbour across the road (who we call Twitchy because we don't know his name and he spends a lot of time looking out from behind his curtains and generally foiling criminal plots) who had a set-to with a teenage ned one day. He ran him out of the street and when the ned swore at him, he laughed in his face and called him "baldy baws" at the top of his voice, much to our amusement and the ned's embarrassment. I'm secretly hoping Twitchy will tackle the litter-leaving teenagers one day so I won't have to.

2.15pm: Make lunch for real and eat it in front of the telly while watching a bit of Three In A Bed. B&B owners all seem very negative/critical if this show is to be believed.

2.50pm: Turf Lola off my lap for about the sixth time today and get back to the tidying, starting with hanging up the second load of washing of the day. I'm very full up.

3.45pm: The buzzer goes. It is the postman. Yes, the postman at 4pm. He brings but one piece of mail... and it is a gas bill. This is about the most interesting mail I have received all month. Sheesh. I'm beginning to flag in the tidying stakes, not helped by the fact that the bedroom doesn't really look any tidier. How can this be? The main difference is that the dust that was attached to surfaces is now flying around the room. Ah well, it keeps the cats entertained and stops them thinking about food for a few minutes. I think I will empty the dishwasher and do some dishes now and return to the bedroom a bit later.

4.40pm: The dishwasher has been emptied (and half refilled) and last night's pans have been washed. The third load of washing has been hung up. The cats have been fed about an hour early, but I couldn't take any more miaowing. I am now officially pooped, maybe too pooped to go out and get the vegetables necessary to make the stir fry I had planned for tonight's dinner. I would quite like to go to bed, but I think I will give the bedroom a pre-hoover hoover just to get rid of the worst of the dust to allow me to tidy some more. Graham will be getting home from work soon and I don't think the flat looks any better than it did when he left. He'll never believe I have good reason to look so tired and sweaty :(

5-8pm: I tidy up the hall a bit, sorting through all the mail and gubbins that has been building over the last few months into a stressful pile of unidentified paper that may or may not need to be followed up. I feel much better to throw out all the junk and deal with what needs to be dealt with. On top of this, I finally begin filling in my passport and driving licence forms... and finish them! Woo hoo! They have been sitting on the kitchen table since May (and the licence form was in the hall for about a year before that) so it feels great to get them done and out of my mental to-do list. Graham comes home from work as I'm filling them in and, seeing my tired expression, volunteers to concoct dinner from stuff in the cupboards/freezer so I don't have to go to the shops or cook. What a star. As he prepares dinner, I give the bedroom a really good hoover and it finally starts to look noticeably cleaner/tidier. I hoover the hall and living room since I am on a roll and then eat the dinner Graham has prepared. He has a shower while I do the dishes then we eat ice cream and watch some athletics while Lola sits on me again.

8.30pm: Graham goes to the shops while I pay the gas bill (I know, on the very day it arrived!) and look online, trying to work out how much tax, NI and student loans I will be paying once I'm on maternity leave, but it is beyond me so I give up for now. I think I might phone the student loans company one day soon to ask how it works. I wonder if there's any more organising I can do from the sofa. I'm well impressed with the progress I've made today. Hopefully I can keep this up and be 10% ready for the baby by Christmas! That would be 9% more ready than I thought was possible when I was lying in bed freaking out last night.

8.45pm: Graham is back from the shops and we put on the DVD lovefilm sent us about a month ago that we haven't managed to find time/evening energy to watch yet, so this is almost like another tick off the mental pile of overdue stuff. The film is Biutiful. It takes a while for me to work out what is going on, but it turns out to be really good, although absolutely horrific in parts. I shed quite a few tears from about two thirds of the way in and by the end am absolutely broken-hearted and sobbing on Graham's shoulder. When the film is over, I am glad to have seen it, but make a request that we start watching happy films for a while. I don't think I can handle films like Biutiful these days. Mind you, I've welled up a few times today thinking about the Irish dancing results in Jig, which we watched last night, so I'm not sure what films I could handle...

11.15pm: I check my emails (made a sale in etsy - hooray!), brush my teeth etc, feed the starving cats and go to bed to read a few pages of my book. I've just started it and can't work out who the characters are or what is going on so am quite glad when Poppy appears and tries to eat said book in her demands for attention.

BEDSIDE TABLE (AFTER)

11.30pm: Lights off. Zzzzz. It feels nice to be going to sleep in a tidier and less dusty bedroom with less jobs/bits of paper preying on my mind.