Last night I ate two thirds of a fishcake, the first dead animal I have consumed in over 20 years. I have been psyching myself up to try eating meat and fish for a few years now as I'd like to be able to eat them occasionally to make life easier, although I'd still plan on being 99% vegetarian as vegetarianism is just right for me and sits best with my view of the world etc. I think having Dulcie has given me that little extra push to stop just thinking about it and start changing my ways. Not having eaten meat for so long has given me kind of a phobia of it and I'd like to be OK with eating it by the time Dulcie might be able to pick up on these things. We don't intend to bring her up as a vegetarian. I was quite surprised how easily I ate the fishcake last night and was giving myself a little pat on the back and feeling very pleased with myself. I thought about it a bit too much halfway through and couldn't finish it, but it was a very successful first attempt. A few hours after eating it, though, I started to sense the death in my belly and have felt quite ill ever since. Today I am still struggling and kind of wish I hadn't eaten it. There's dead flesh inside me. Shudder! Might be a while before I take the next step.
sketchbook : week 20 - Week 20 in my yearlong sketchbook practice.