black and white baby

I've been up since 6.30am today, but thought I would make use of the morning by starting that knitting project I mentioned the other day. I'm making a baby hat with very cute rabbit ears on it, but controversially I am knitting it in black. Yes, black for a baby. I don't think I would ever use black to knit for anyone else's baby, but since this is for my baby, I know the mother won't be offended. Yes, I did say my baby. I am pregnant, 14 and a half weeks pregnant to be exact.

And here is the baby in question. Even I will admit it has a slightly alien face at the moment, but other than that it is very lovely. Well, Graham and I think so, at least :) We got this scan done a couple of weeks ago and it was truly amazing. We had to have a scan quite early on when the baby was just a jellybean with a heartbeat and even though I had been reading up on the baby's development week by week and knew it would be looking more like a human by now, I was still completely gobsmacked to see an actual person in there with ten fingers and perfectly formed feet. It literally went from jellybean to human in just five weeks! I'd also imagined the baby just kind of floating about in there, but it was moving about all over the place and even had the hiccups at one point. Now I like to imagine what the baby is up to when no-one is watching. I'm really looking forward to being able to feel it move and, yes, you can quote me on that when I am moaning about it kicking me and keeping me awake at night!

So it's all been very exciting. We found out I was pregnant while we were away in Scarborough and watched the pregnancy test turn positive in our room in the Grand Hotel. Since then, my plans for nine months of extreme tidying and organising have been scuppered by the fact that I've pretty much been puking and napping and that is it. I totally underestimated morning sickness and was ill 24/7 for about 7 weeks solid. You can actually track my pregnancy woes via this blog. The moment I went from blogging 20-odd times a month to next to never was the moment I started feeling ill. Over the last couple of weeks I've been feeling a bit better and, lo and behold, normal blogging service has almost been resumed! During these weeks/months I also developed an unfortunate association between quilling and vomiting, so that little project is still in its half-finished state as a result! Anyway, as I said, the worst of the puking seems to be in the past. I'm still a bit squeamish some days, but am enjoying having other days where I feel close to normal, and I'm hopeful that the fabled glowing will start soon!

We had only told a handful of people that we were expecting a baby before we got our 12 week scan, so it's been really nice sharing the news over the last couple of weeks. The future grandparents are especially delighted. We told my dad on his 60th birthday, which also took the pressure off in terms of finding the perfect present! Ha! Graham is telling the last person who might possibly have read it on my blog this afternoon, so I am safe to share it here now. I think. I haven't told anyone at work yet except my manager (who seemed genuinely delighted, which I thought was a really lovely reaction to someone essentially saying they'd be buggering off on maternity leave) and have been cruelly experimenting on my other colleagues to see who will be brave enough to be the first to ask whether I am pregnant or just fat. Mwahahaha! My belly was getting a few suspicious glances last weekend, but no outright questioning yet. Claire, if you're reading this, mum's the word! I know, so not funny... Just be grateful I'm not sharing the terrible joke about constipation that's running through my mind. I mention constipation only because so far it seems to be about the only side effect of pregnancy that I haven't had, touch wood. Or should I say touch cotton? Sorry, I just couldn't resist it. Actually, one of my workmates did have me sussed ages ago because of my sudden and excessive consumption of Heinz tomato soup. I was very impressed by her Columbo-esque deduction, but it was kind of early days, so I lied. Badly.

I've decided to keep the wonky granny square blanket for our own baby, partly because it's wonky, but mainly because I really like it. I should say it didn't look quite this wonky before I bundled it up in a bag to keep it out of harm's way.

The good thing about making blankets for my own baby is that I don't have to worry so much about the cats standing on it when I'm trying to take photos. Paws on a blanket will be the least of this baby's cat-related worries, I'm sure!

Yes, so it's happy times in our household. The stress/anxiety is beginning to niggle at the back of my mind now (a few too many knowingly raised eyebrows and "You don't know what you're letting yourselves in for"s for my liking) but I'm trying to cling on to the excitement of the whole situation and just focus on the many, many positives. I do know it's going to be hard, but I also think it's going to be amazing and fun and happy and I'm really delighted at the thought of doing this with Graham (who has already proved his dad credentials by taking care of me/the house/the cats in times of puking) and at the thought of us becoming a little family all of our own. I'm also really excited to find out just who is hiding in my belly. So far all we know is that it's a baby and that it gets the hiccups. There could be literally anyone in there!